Adults seem to think that children are naive and that children are weak, and sometimes that’s true. Sometimes we forget that they’re also extremely perceptive, and resilient. Because of this, and as a child of separated parents, I want to suggest that you don’t stay together for the kids.
I've read a slew of articles about how children of divorce are worse off. More prone to mental illness, less likely to do well in school, etc. I don't think there's any perspective from actual kids who have gone through it. I'm not a statistic- I'm a person, and I don't want to be thought of as less capable. I’m absolutely not an expert in child psychology- and perhaps what I’m suggesting is supposed to be wrong. I don’t know. All I know is my own experience, and I know that I can’t speak for every child of separated parents, but I think that some of this need to be addressed. Here are 5 reasons you shouldn’t stay together for the kids.
Kids are perceptive
Kids know when their parents don’t get along. Even if you try to hide it- kids know when there’s more tension in the air than love. Don’t pretend that they won’t feel it.
Kids are resilient
Not having parents live in the same house definitely has cons, but that’s not what this is about. Having separated parents will always be part of their life- but it will not consume their life. They are little humans with lives, and lives ahead of them. It won’t be easy- but they will be okay.
Two homes
It’s better to have two homes, each with one parent, minus tension and fighting- than a house with two parents that don’t get along. Plus, having somewhere to stay when they happen to go to the city a parent lives in is cool.
They do not lose a parent
There’s a difference between losing a parent- and simply having one live in another home. I still have both of my parents, and I need them for different things. I don’t need them to live together, or even in the same city, to get those things from them.
They will adjust
The little things about not living with both parents will fade. Life will go on.
Having separated parents sucks in a lot of ways. But it’s not the end of a family. It’s not the end of having parents who love you. I won’t pretend that there were never hard times. I won’t lie and say that I never wished I could have my mom and dad live with me, but that’s my life- and that’s life for so many kids. We are okay. In general, when I think of things that make me sad- having separated parents doesn’t even make the list.
