Contrary to popular belief, I’m technically still a teen. Nineteen, to be exact, and I’m just about to approach my early twenties this coming year. I’ve completed almost four years of college, some studying aboard and a constant path to one day achieving my dream.

Marriage isn’t in that equation. And where I come from in the state of Utah, that’s crazy talk to some people. Majority of girls I went to high school with are now into their first year of marriage, or getting married within the next year. And here I am still learning how to separate my laundry. I don’t have anything against those who choose to get married young, however, for me it’s not an option right now.

I’m in this new phase of life where everything has become new and exciting, I want to go explore and wander to places I’ve never been. I want to converse and meet all types of people and hear their stories and why they are here today. I want to be fully committed to myself before I commit to someone else. I want to find myself, and what I like as an individual before I seek another’s companionship.

Being able to make myself happy is a goal I have for myself, and each time I strive for that goal and do little things each day that I enjoy. How can I contribute to someone else’s happiness if I don’t even know what bring me happiness? I’m still finding me, before I bring another into my state of mind.

I don’t see marriage as the end to freedom in my life, but marriage is work, commitment and dedication on both ends of the spectrum. Right now, as I approach my end year of being a teenager I want to focus on myself and no one else. Is that selfish? In my defense, it’s not because one’s health and aspirations should always come before anyone else’s. Some day’s it’s just hard enough to get out of bed and start today, who knows what would happen if I had to drag another person out of bed with me right now.

To those of you who have found your “other half” and live a fulfilled joyous marriage, I’m happy for you I’m glad you have found what you needed and who you want to spend that time with. I hope that you may continue to grow with one another and be happy, truly happy.

For me, I plan to stay focused on my career path and what I want to accomplish as an individual first. I want to continue to build friendships and outside relationships and connections that fill my soul with content. And if that person someday walks into my life, someone who I find solace in being with who knows maybe I’ll take a leap of faith and see where our paths take us.