I don’t want to adult. I hear this often enough on my college campus, and I can’t say I disagree. For any who might be confused by this use of “adult” as a verb, it’s a millennial way of saying, "I don’t want to grow up."

Now I’m sure there’s some of you, how shall I say, more “experienced” (older) individuals who will just chalk this up to us millennials being lazy. This may be the case of some millennials, but I can assure you, I certainly don’t want to adult, but it’s not for the reasons you might think.

To be an adult — what does that even mean anymore? When I was younger it meant freedom, and the responsibility tied with that freedom. Even now I still hold that to be true, but it entails so much more than I'd anticipated before I found myself facing adult life.

Being an adult means taking the steps necessary to get a job, whether that be college or going immediately into the work force. Being an adult means shopping for your own supplies, doing what needs to be done without anyone harping on you to get it done and planning your future. Of course, not wanting to be an adult seems like simply being lazy. But being an adult means even more than this.

Being an adult means independence. I can/should not simply expect to use the wisdom of my father or trusted teachers to lead me; I have to start developing my own wisdom. Being an adult means now being in a position of affecting the next generation, hopefully as positively as the adults in my life have affected me — this is the greatest reason I don't want to be an adult. I don't feel ready.

Growing up, my actions did not (at least in my opinion) have a very great ripple effect. They would affect my life, maybe my family and a few close individuals, but that was it. Being an adult now means stepping into an automatic leadership position. What I do now and in the future is shaping not just the few people around me, but also future adults. It’s not just about me anymore. What I do is much more important now.

To have this responsibility is honestly terrifying. Will I be able to be as good an example as my father, or my teachers, or coaches or other adults in my life? Will parents see their kids grow up and be grateful to me for affecting their children, or resent me for the damage I've caused? Will I be a man that my family, friends and even I can be proud of? Hopefully.

I don’t want to adult, but I have to. It’s necessary. I absolutely believe that it’s time for me to be an adult, that it’s time for me to accept all the responsibility, the freedom and the consequences of my actions — but that doesn't mean I want to. I don't want to screw it all up, I don’t want to negatively affect anyone, but that doesn't change the fact that I have to take the risk and be an adult.

I don’t know what the future may hold for me, but all I can do is just take those steps towards it to find out for myself.