Not too long ago, I remember something that someone once told me. "I usually go the ugly girls because they're easy." I can't express how many issues there are with that statement alone. What exactly makes a woman 'easy' and why does she not fit your standard in order to be 'easy'?
I never understood why this was always such a difficult question to answer. I then understood why. As women, we mostly believe that men who are attractive as our eyes first see it; we tend to believe that he has it all together. We believe that he's the most confident guy that walks into the room. However, looks are definitely deceiving. Every guy that I've ever found attractive I used to believe that he was the one that always had his stuff together. Turns out that wasn't the case. After truly getting to know them, I realized that just because he looks great on the outside doesn't mean that he has his life together on the inside. You never know what someone is going through until you truly get to know them.
For one, I'm always told that when someone meets me that I tend to be very protective of myself, yet I can be easy to hang out with. Regardless of that, I do in fact have some own insecurities of my own. But I'm glad that I was able to overcome some over the years. I had learned to let certain relationships end based on how it was making me feel mentally.
Once I realized that some people who I allowed in my life wanted to always find something wrong about me, was when I knew that they simply cannot stick around. People who see you doing well always want to find something wrong about you by making sure that you feel as awful about yourself than they do. I remember being friends with someone who would always make it a priority to put me down in public whether she cared that it was hurting me or not. She would always poke fun at my weight and say that I will never get a man by looking the way that I look. One day after everything she put me through; I realized that it was time for her to go. I never exactly told her in person that I never wanted to see her again. To avoid that type of drama I just simply let her out of my life by not speaking to her again. Although I don't see her anymore, I do however wish nothing but the best for her life.
I hope that she realizes the wrongs that she put me through and it would allow her to grow as a person. The same also went for one of my exes. With the time that we were together, I promised myself that we would not get into any arguments whatsoever. Those were things that I knew instantly ruin many relationships. We didn't break up because of that; we broke up because he was simply insecure. When we were together, there were some people that would stare and try to put judgement on him. However I told him that none of that stuff should bother him because when I'm with someone that I care about, I don't care about other people.
When I'm with you, you're the only one that matters to me regardless of what anyone tries to say. The one's that always assume are the ones that never know. Unfortunately, he broke up with me because he didn't feel good about himself to be with someone like me anymore.
Also the way he broke up with me was in a way that I am still finding a way to forgive. Not only did you break up with me over the phone, but he never met with me in person to talk about why he broke up with me the way that he did. As angry as it made me, I realize that it taught me something in a big way. It was not meant for me to stay with someone who was constantly throwing their frustrations and insecurities at me when I just simply have the type of personality to be in a good state of mind.
That brings me to the point of insecurities that are in both men and women. As women, we tend to find insecurities about ourselves on a daily basis. However, whenever we feel that there is no way out of our insecurities, we tend to remind ourselves of the positive things. Never forget why you have a reason to love yourself. Over and over I would always question myself as to why certain people come off the way that they do.
It is because of human nature that's why. I am as well guilty of this question but the question of 'How did he end up with HER?' or even vice versa. For the record, I am not speaking for everyone. People who get into relationships are not in it for looks, but personality is always the first and best lasting impression. For example, you can say 'Oh she's so hot' all you want but how much are you going to bet that she probably does not think that about herself. You can tell one person they are attractive 1,000 times, but they just won't believe you because of the insecurities that they have.
Just because a women looks and seems attractive on the outside doesn't always mean that she tends to have the huge ego you think she has. If she 'acts' like she's too good for you, it's the complete opposite. It means that by showing what she wants in a relationship which is simply based off looks, that means that her insecurities are constantly eating at her on a daily basis. She'll just never tell you that. The same goes for men.
Some people, however, end up with people that are out of their league because they feel that by being with that person, there are no worries. They don't have to worry if a guy or girl is constantly messaging them, staring at them, or asking for their number out in public. The less that a person has to worry about other people trying to hit on their significant other is the better it makes them feel.
We have a problem with grouping people all into one category. Instead of judging someone from what they look like from the outside, get to know them on the inside. Also, for men and women that flirt with someone simply because they're good looking, what if they actually liked you? They were not looking to get used, so STOP treating them like a fetish. If you like someone you should genuinely love them for the person that they are both inside and out. If they like you back that means that they are serious and have no one else to worry about other than you.
They could send all the DMs and thirst messages that they want, it doesn't mean that I will go rushing to them. You have something that they will never have, and that is respect. Of course, they are going to be jealous, that means that they can't give you what you can. Just remember the next time you say 'I think he or she is attractive', doesn't mean that they have it all together.
