You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

Emotions don't have rules, so stop telling people how they can and cannot feel.

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This seems so self-explanatory, but clearly, it isn't. I've seen a lot of posts lately about how Millennials and Gen-Y are too sensitive and how we can't take a joke. Well, guess what? YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE HOW I REACT.

If I see something on Facebook that's sexist, even if it's a joke, I am allowed to be offended. I am allowed to defend my gender and defend myself. I am allowed to be angered at the constant oppression of women that is often masked by jokes and backhanded compliments and side comments. You do not get to tell me "oh, it's just a joke, relax." I will not relax. It is my responsibility to stand up for myself and other women. The intention of the comment is irrelevant, it's about what the message of it is and I am allowed to feel however I feel.

You also don't get to tell me how your actions affect me. If you are my friend and you take seven hours to respond to a text message that warrants a response, but I see that you've been posting on social media, I am allowed to be mad. I am allowed to be irritated. The same is true if you blow me off, even if it's for legitimate reasons. I am allowed to be upset. It may not be directed at you, but I am still allowed to be upset that you canceled on me.

Also, if you're my significant other and you say or do something that hurts my feelings or disappoints me, I am allowed to feel that way. If I go out of my way when you have had a bad day to make you feel better, but you ignore that- I am allowed to be upset.

I am allowed to be disappointed and to need some space. You don't get to tell me that I'm overreacting or that I'm being crazy just having emotions.

I am also allowed to feel emotions that aren't necessarily traditional in certain scenarios. I am allowed to be relieved when someone who's had cancer and been in pain for years on end, passes away. I am allowed to be happy that they are no longer suffering. I am also allowed to feel grief that they are gone. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

So, stop telling me and others to feel a certain way. I am allowed to have emotion. It is NORMAL to have emotions. It is NORMAL to feel things. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

Emotions do not have boundaries. Emotions don't have rules. So, stop trying to give people emotional rules to follow.

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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From The Girl Lucky Enough To Have A Guy Best Friend

This one is for the guys…

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That's right, the guys I am lucky enough to call my best friends, this one is for you. Firstly I'd like to say Thank you. Thank you for always being there for me without even being asked… You always have a way of just knowing when something is not right. Thank you for always being my shoulder to cry on, they say that guys are supposed to be big, rough, tough and mighty but honestly no... that's the biggest and untrue stereotype. You are nothing of the sorts and I count my blessings every day for that.

You guys have taught me so much, from how to go into complete beast mode while playing one on one to teaching me the basics of how to play video games, and you never seem to give up on me even though you know I am the absolute worst at it! I love the fact that we can just chill together and you're not afraid to let me be just one of the guys with you, we can just chill and everything is cool but you also know how to treat me like a proper lady, and one of my favorite parts is that you will never turn down a spur of the moment shopping trip! I have learned so much from you dude, you are the one I can go to for guy advice and you will tell me straight up how it is. You're not afraid to call me out on my sh** and tell me when I am out of line or just going crazy. You know how to make me laugh harder than anyone else can and I know I can always count on you to cheer me up when I am down.

You're not big brother but you know how to act like it sometimes… I feel bad for the next guy who tries to play me because I know he's going to have to deal with you and your not afraid to put him in his place if he steps out of line. I'm jealous of the girl you end up with, she is going to be one lucky girl but she will be blessed with a true gentleman. She better treat you right though because just like you I'm not afraid to put her in her place. I have high standards and expectations for the girl you end up with because she is going to end up being with an amazing, kind-hearted and funny guy.

You may or may not have been here since day one but that's ok because friendship isn't about whos been there the longest it about whos never left your side, and whose loyalty you have never had to question and I can say proudly and happily say that I have never had to question yours, you have always been there for me and I honestly can't thank you enough for that. You have been one of the only constant and consistent people that I know I can always rely on.

Thanks, dude… for everything...

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