How To Feel

You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

Emotions don't have rules, so stop telling people how they can and cannot feel.

Rachel G
Rachel G

This seems so self-explanatory, but clearly, it isn't. I've seen a lot of posts lately about how Millennials and Gen-Y are too sensitive and how we can't take a joke. Well, guess what? YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE HOW I REACT.

If I see something on Facebook that's sexist, even if it's a joke, I am allowed to be offended. I am allowed to defend my gender and defend myself. I am allowed to be angered at the constant oppression of women that is often masked by jokes and backhanded compliments and side comments. You do not get to tell me "oh, it's just a joke, relax." I will not relax. It is my responsibility to stand up for myself and other women. The intention of the comment is irrelevant, it's about what the message of it is and I am allowed to feel however I feel.

You also don't get to tell me how your actions affect me. If you are my friend and you take seven hours to respond to a text message that warrants a response, but I see that you've been posting on social media, I am allowed to be mad. I am allowed to be irritated. The same is true if you blow me off, even if it's for legitimate reasons. I am allowed to be upset. It may not be directed at you, but I am still allowed to be upset that you canceled on me.

Also, if you're my significant other and you say or do something that hurts my feelings or disappoints me, I am allowed to feel that way. If I go out of my way when you have had a bad day to make you feel better, but you ignore that- I am allowed to be upset.

I am allowed to be disappointed and to need some space. You don't get to tell me that I'm overreacting or that I'm being crazy just having emotions.

I am also allowed to feel emotions that aren't necessarily traditional in certain scenarios. I am allowed to be relieved when someone who's had cancer and been in pain for years on end, passes away. I am allowed to be happy that they are no longer suffering. I am also allowed to feel grief that they are gone. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

So, stop telling me and others to feel a certain way. I am allowed to have emotion. It is NORMAL to have emotions. It is NORMAL to feel things. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

Emotions do not have boundaries. Emotions don't have rules. So, stop trying to give people emotional rules to follow.

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To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."

Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

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Dear Fellas, Consistency & Communication Is All We Ask For

So, why aren't we getting the same?


Dear fellas (who fall under this category of course),

As you can tell from my title, it's time to talk about the problems with MOST guys in today's generation. This article isn't meant to bash all of you, but most of you need a reality check when it comes to. I'll start with this:

It's really annoying when most of you guys start a good conversation with us and then it eventually dies out because you lose interest in us. You even label things as "the talking stage," which to this day, I still don't understand the purpose of that. You come in our messages and go for long periods of time, only to message us weeks later like nothing happened. The excuses are tiring and pathetic, yet you claim that you care and you were just busy with work/school.

READ HERE: Having A 'Talking Stage' Proves Why Millennials Suck At Dating

What I do know, is that if you actually cared about someone, you would be invested in that person and not disappear. We shouldn't always have to be the ones to triple text and make an effort. Once we find our self-worth, its hard to settle for less at this point. If you don't feel the same way, please communicate with us and let us know. There's one thing people hate and that's wasting precious time. If you do "like us," be consistent. We don't appreciate the half-of-everything type.

READ HERE: 25 Annoying Phrases Guys Use When They Aren't Feeling You Anymore

Life is short and it's time to grow up.

Also, notice how I keep saying "most" of you guys. However, if you feel offended by this article, it's probably you who needs to change.

Thank you for coming to my unofficial TED Talk!

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