Every day, I must push aside the knot that forms in the pit of my stomach. I have to sit up in bed, which can be an impossible task in itself, and tell myself that I can do it. I can survive yet another day with the whispers of my demons.

One of the most common pieces of advice I hear from others is that I can choose to be happy. They talk as if I can flip a switch and suddenly I am feeling as bright as the morning sun. There seems to be this common misconception that I create all of my anxieties and deciding to be happy can change my entire thought process. The brain is just like any other organ; it’s not perfect and it fails us more often than people like to think. It is as if the mind is held to a higher standard than say the kidney, or liver, because it is what controls the entire body. The brain is beautiful and complex which makes having problems with your mind that much worse. My anxiety is caused by unbalanced chemicals and it is something a choice cannot fix--not even medicine is a sure-fire fix. These chemicals make it harder to feel joy; sometimes it is nearly impossible. Do not get me wrong: there are many choices I can make to lessen the impact of my anxiety. Simply deciding to be happy is not one of those choices.

Happiness may not always be up to us, but we can make sure we don't wallow in our sadness. One of my main coping mechanisms has been to practice mindfulness. Whenever an anxiety-provoking thought enters my mind, I don’t try to stop it, but instead, let it enter my mind so I can acknowledge it. I must stress that this thought should not consume you. What I do is I try to reason my way through the situation. I “debunk” the thought, putting my anxieties to rest. While this works for me, it may not work for others. Each person and mind is unique, so don’t be hard on yourself if my method does not work for you. You may not be able to choose to be happy, but you sure can work your butt off to lessen your pain. Take it from someone who has dealt with this for years; you will manage. You may never be cured, but you will find a way. I certainly did.