One-sided relationships have been on my mind this week. The subject just popped into my head and kind of stuck. When I say one-sided relationships, I don't just mean people in a romantic relationship, I'm talking about all kinds of relationships.
We are all busy. We have to balance a lot of responsibilities throughout our lives. It seems like no one slows down, and everyone is always moving at such a fast pace. No matter how busy someone may be, if you are truly important, people will make time for you.
Life is full of extraordinary experiences. There is so much to discover and learn. Being in a one-sided relationship isn't worth your time or the heartache. Life is too short to be putting effort into people who won't do the same for you.
I really dislike when I hear people say, "relationships are hard work." Relationships are not hard work. They shouldn't even be considered work. There will be arguments and disagreements, but that is to be expected. When you are with someone who is in love with you, it won't be hard. Things will have a flow to them. I know "flow" is an abstract idea, but when you're with the other person you'll just feel it. Things will just make sense. When you can share intimacy, vulnerability, and good communication, it will be simple.
One-sided relationships are unhealthy. It will emotionally drain you. It brings you unwanted negativity and will feel like you are stuck in a cycle of disappointment. It will make you feel like you aren't good enough. You are good enough, though.
One-sided friendships deserve recognition. These kind of friendships seem to be a little more common. Friendships are important and should improve your life in some way. Being friends with someone who never initiates contact, treats you like a convenience or sees the friendship as a chore is awful. That's not what friendship is. Friendship is finding someone who will sit on the kitchen floor eating pizza at 3 a.m. with you while talking about each other's hopes and dreams. Friendship is being able to be comfortable with each other's silence and knowing that talking isn't always necessary. The greatest way to honor a friend is to share your vulnerabilities. Trust creates an even stronger bond.
Do not ignore the "red flags" of one-sided relationships. I have ignored the red flags before, and it made the pain hurt even more. It will be less painful to accept and address that the relationship isn't working than ignoring the issue. It will be like ripping a bandage off. The pain will sting at first but after a while, the pain will be gone. I would rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel alone.
Making an effort is important. It is one of the most crucial elements for a relationship. Without effort, the relationship will crumble. It's sad because it seems like effort is becoming more difficult to find. I want to make deep, meaningful connections with people. I don't want anything frivolous or superficial.
The people who put effort into your relationship and connect with you on a deeper level should be treasured. These kind of relationships are hard to find, but once you make one you'll know that it is genuine and authentic. Surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and important.