Don't Stay In A One-Sided Relationship

Don't Stay In A One-Sided Relationship

You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else.
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One-sided relationships have been on my mind this week. The subject just popped into my head and kind of stuck. When I say one-sided relationships, I don't just mean people in a romantic relationship, I'm talking about all kinds of relationships.

We are all busy. We have to balance a lot of responsibilities throughout our lives. It seems like no one slows down, and everyone is always moving at such a fast pace. No matter how busy someone may be, if you are truly important, people will make time for you.

Life is full of extraordinary experiences. There is so much to discover and learn. Being in a one-sided relationship isn't worth your time or the heartache. Life is too short to be putting effort into people who won't do the same for you.

I really dislike when I hear people say, "relationships are hard work." Relationships are not hard work. They shouldn't even be considered work. There will be arguments and disagreements, but that is to be expected. When you are with someone who is in love with you, it won't be hard. Things will have a flow to them. I know "flow" is an abstract idea, but when you're with the other person you'll just feel it. Things will just make sense. When you can share intimacy, vulnerability, and good communication, it will be simple.

One-sided relationships are unhealthy. It will emotionally drain you. It brings you unwanted negativity and will feel like you are stuck in a cycle of disappointment. It will make you feel like you aren't good enough. You are good enough, though.

One-sided friendships deserve recognition. These kind of friendships seem to be a little more common. Friendships are important and should improve your life in some way. Being friends with someone who never initiates contact, treats you like a convenience or sees the friendship as a chore is awful. That's not what friendship is. Friendship is finding someone who will sit on the kitchen floor eating pizza at 3 a.m. with you while talking about each other's hopes and dreams. Friendship is being able to be comfortable with each other's silence and knowing that talking isn't always necessary. The greatest way to honor a friend is to share your vulnerabilities. Trust creates an even stronger bond.

Do not ignore the "red flags" of one-sided relationships. I have ignored the red flags before, and it made the pain hurt even more. It will be less painful to accept and address that the relationship isn't working than ignoring the issue. It will be like ripping a bandage off. The pain will sting at first but after a while, the pain will be gone. I would rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel alone.

Making an effort is important. It is one of the most crucial elements for a relationship. Without effort, the relationship will crumble. It's sad because it seems like effort is becoming more difficult to find. I want to make deep, meaningful connections with people. I don't want anything frivolous or superficial.

The people who put effort into your relationship and connect with you on a deeper level should be treasured. These kind of relationships are hard to find, but once you make one you'll know that it is genuine and authentic. Surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and important.

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30 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

Things a best male friend would tell you.
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1. The sexy, crazy fun girl doesn’t always win the guy.
Yes, we are attracted to the fun party girls that never settle down, but at the end of the day, we can’t bring those girls home to meet our moms. Every guy is looking for the sweet, beautiful and down-to-earth girl that makes us laugh, keeps us grounded and believes in us. We want a girl that we can talk to about more than just how many shots we can take before we blackout. Guys want to date a Megan Fox and marry an Emma Watson.

2. Men are not mind readers.

3. Sunday sports are like the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. It's a fact of life, and you've just got to let it be.

4. When a game is on, please only talk during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, so neither do we.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let me be really clear about this one. Whether the hint is subtle or obvious, we're probably not going to get what you're trying to say. So, just tell us what you want.

7. Anything said a week ago becomes null and void and cannot be brought up in an argument again.

8. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it. Not both.

9. We only see about 16 colors.
For example, the term "peach" is a fruit, not a color.

10. If we ask what’s wrong, and you reply, "Nothing," we will act as if nothing is wrong.
We probably know that you’re lying, but it’s not worth the fight.

11. You have enough of my fraternity shirts.
Don’t keep asking for more, and don’t just take them. You have to earn them.

12. Stop telling me to make you my #WCW.
Everyone gets annoyed with the couples that make each other their #MCM or #WCW every week; we will not be that couple.

13. It’s not attractive to hear you talk bad about other girls.
I know you don’t like one of your sisters because she stole your Big-Little shirt idea, but keep that talk for your sisters, not us.

14. Being smart is very attractive.
We want a girl that can read a book and carry on a good conversation.

15. Allow me to open the door for you.
Don’t let chivalry die. I know you’re 100 percent capable of opening the door yourself, but see it as a nice gesture. It’s something our dad taught us to do.

16. I’m going to try and fix your problems.
Don’t vent to me if you don’t want me to try and fix what’s going on. That’s what guys do.

17. Don’t take my fries.
I’m a growing man, and I need my food but will gladly take whatever you don’t eat.

18. Don’t be dramatic.
Guys don’t like girls that are crazy about drama, plain and simple. If you enjoy the attention that getting jealous gets you, you will not get my attention.

19. Don’t say you miss me after an hour or a day.
That’s when you begin to edge into the "clingy" zone.

20. It’s okay to compliment us.
We like when you tell us we look good. We will just never say that out loud.

21. But don’t call us "pretty" or "beautiful."
This is not "Twilight," we do not sparkle, and we are not "pretty".

22. “I’m not looking for a relationship” can sometimes be directly translated to "You’re great, but we’re just not ready to be tied down quite yet."

23. We’re all on that college budget.
So know that we would like to give you the world, but can only afford the dollar menu sometimes.

24. If my friends don’t approve of you, then odds are we won't be able to date.
The same sentiment goes for my family.

25. I will smile, but not 100 times.
I’ll take pictures because you want to, but if I’m being honest, you’re going to look just as good in the first one as you will in 100th one you force someone to take.

26. We don’t always have to be doing something.
We can enjoy Netflix and a large pizza.

27. You have too many shoes.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. Don't ask a question that you don't want an answer to.

30. We are in shape. Round IS a shape.

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To The Girl Who Is Moving On, You're Going To Be More Than Fine

I know what kind of girl you are.
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To the girl moving on,

You are absolutely amazing! Do you know that? Do you know how hard it is to piece your heart together after someone broke it into a million pieces? I sure as hell do.

I know what it's like to get so wrapped up in someone else's life you forget about your own. I know what its like to have someone make you feel like you are constantly not enough, and I definitely know the type of girl you are. You're the girl that loves too hard because you choose to see the best in everything and in everyone. You care way too much about people that don't care at all about you. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt and you're too trusting, BUT that's what makes you such a special human being.

But that doesn't make it okay for other people to treat you badly, or make you feel unworthy. It's not okay for people to walk over you just because you're a good person. And I think after he walked away you learned that. You learned that you don't need someone to be someone. You learned that your worthy and deserving. You learned that some people that come into your life aren't always there to stay, but that doesn't mean that they didn't teach you something about life. And it certainly doesn't mean, that you'll never find love again.

You used to be so focused on what his goals were and making him happy. Did you ever think about how happy you would be if you focused on yourself? I know you have because the girl you were with him was a girl that was not even reaching half of her potential, and sadly, you knew that all along.

Now, you're the girl that is reaching for stars not thinking twice about turning back. You have best friends who truly love you and would do anything for you. You have stepped out of your comfort zone and made new friends, new experiences, and new opportunities for yourself.You ARE NOT the same person you were with him, YOU ARE BETTER. You are finally starting to figure out who you are supposed to be, and it is an amazing feeling. I'm sorry that it had to take someone to break your heart for you to realize what you truly deserve.

But oh Honey, YOU ARE A BADASS, and this time, baby, you'll be bulletproof.

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