One of the biggest mantras of 20-somethings is to not settle. Don't settle for a bad job, don't settle for a boring book, don't settle for a mediocre life. While the sentiment of living a life that makes you happy is good, the idea of not settling has raised a lot of questions in my mind.
1. Who decides if I'm settling?
If someone else tells me that I'm settling, that means I'm not living the life they want to live. I'm not using the phone, car, or computer they want to. Not only that, but it would mean that we all have the same likes and dislikes. However, this is not the case, so how can anyone else tell me if I'm settling?
2. What if I have to settle?
There are certainly some aspects of life where you don't have a choice but to settle. Sometimes, you have to make compromises in your life. You may have to deal with a bad, minimum wage job for a few months while you save money to move out and find a full time job. You may have to settle for a different job than you went to school for just because the field isn't hiring at the time. Is it so bad to make these compromises and settle a bit?
3. Does it count if things turn out better?
It's happened before (and it's bound to happen again) that when you settle for one thing, life turns out better than if you didn't. You may have settled for that minimum wage job, sure, but if you didn't, would you have met your work friends? Would you have talked to them about different hobbies? Would you have been able to discover your new passion? Does settling for that minimum wage job count if, through it, you found you what you really want to do?
4. When will I know if it was settling?
There are times when it's very obvious that you didn't settle. If you went into your boss' office, asked for a raise, and got it, then it's obvious you weren't going to settle for less than you deserved. But go back to that minimum wage job where you discovered your passion. That wouldn't happen immediately, as that sort of discovery takes time. How long should you wait before you know if you're settling for a bad job? Will you ever really know if you were settling at that job?
5. Aren't we technically always settling?
In a more pessimistic outlook, it can be argued that we're always settling. There will always be someone or something out there that is better than what we have. A new car will come out that has more impressive features than your current car. You may have a celebrity crush who is just a little bit funnier than the person you're with. If you don't make the "upgrade," aren't you then technically settling in every aspect of your life?
The idea of not settling is wonderful. It makes you work to live your happiest life. However, it's all a matter of opinion. Whether or not you upgrade your phone is a personal preference, not a definite act of settling. Staying where you are in your job may be a logical move made to help later when you want to advance.
Settling is all about opinion. So maybe we should tell people to work towards being happy instead of saying not to settle. It's a bit easier to tell when someone is happy than when they're settling.
