I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

Know your worth and never settle for less than what you deserve.

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I have always loved the idea of love and simply being in love. I love the idea of living happily ever after and having someone love me for me. With being a hopeless romantic when I was younger (I still kind of am now but with just higher standards) I never knew how exactly I should have been treated because I never felt worthy or I never felt like I deserved much so, whenever a relationship presented itself to me; I settled and I shouldn't have.

Now, I am not saying that those relationships were not great. One of those relationships lasted for about a year but within that relationship I wanted to think that I was happy but the truth was; I wasn't. I was happy with the idea of being in a relationship. I was happy with the idea of someone loving me for me. I was happy with the idea of my parents liking him. What I was not happy about was how I was being treated and how controlling he was in the relationship. Of course we broke up and I was upset like any girl would be so you would think that I realized how I deserved to be treated and what I really wanted out of a relationship; well you are wrong.

My next two relationships after that were ultimately the same. Things go well for a few months; last for about a year (one of them lasted for two years), we fought, I cried, we called each other bad names, but in the end we would try and work things out. After my last relationship ended I sat in my bed and cried for months because I thought that something was wrong with me. I thought that all of my failed relationships were my fault until one day I realized that none of it was my fault. I realized that I was always the one apologizing and always the one that would try to fix the relationship and make things work, I was the one who did not have a backbone and let the guy push me around and yet again; control the entire relationship. Both guys controlled who I was suppose to hang out with, who I was allowed to talk to, and even got upset when my male co worker asked me if I wanted to go on break together for our next shift. After a very long heart to heart conversations with my best friend she helped me realize my worth and how those boys were not worth my tears at all. That was when I figured out that instead of putting my foot down and realizing how worthy I was of a great relationship; I was just settling for less.

I honestly have not been in a relationship since my last relationship ended and it's been a long time. It's not that I am scared to be in a relationship again (okay I might be terrified a little bit) but I realized that I don't want to waste my time in a relationship if I know that they are not willing to commit. I'd be a liar if I said that I did not go on dates or have hardcore crushes on anyone because I did. I still went out on dates when guys asked me and I still developed that puppy crush on guys that I thought maybe they had potential, but that also allows me to see how they treat me if they were willing to commit. The last four years has allowed me to set my standards high. Going on dates and "talk" to guys allowed me to not settle for less. I've settled for less than what I truly deserved and even though I was happy for the time being, I was not TRULY happy with myself and how I was being treated.

So ladies, set your standards high and don't apologize for that. Don't settle for less than what you truly deserve. You are a queen and you are beautiful. You are worthy of so much more than you let yourself think that you deserve.

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Why I Will Tell My Children To Wait Until Marriage

Abstinence isn't just a religious thing.
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Having grown up in the Bible Belt, I was an avid church goer as a child. Both the church and my parents preached at me that "abstinence is key." They always just said that you shouldn't do anything with someone before you're married because it is just the right thing to do. I always heard that it was just frowned upon, I didn't know that it could be devastating in the future.

Many of us don't wait until marriage. In today's society, abstinence isn't exactly the top priority of our generation. Personally, I didn't wait and fell into the demographic of being "normal." I thought maybe I could find love. I believe most girls convince themselves they can marry just about anyone down the road because it helps us accept what we do. When you are doing what everyone around you seems to be doing, it makes it feel as though it isn't as "wrong" as you thought it was when you are growing up.

Until I met the love of my life, that was my mindset. It wasn't necessarily wrong and it didn't impact anyone other than myself. It turns out I was very wrong. After numerous liars and jerks, I finally found the man that I have always wanted. The guy who gives us that dream that we all have as little girls, but gave up on as we grew older. Neither of us waited until marriage, and neither of us thought of each other. We didn't know each other until we started dating, but we didn't think of the one that we would one day marry. I never knew how someone's past could devastate me. I struggle daily with insecurities and comparisons to the girls he has been with. I don't want to, but I can't help it. I know that he feels the same way about my past. It causes distrust in a society where distrust is already easy enough to have. I never wanted to be that girl that compared myself to others, but it's hard not to think about the other girls and if they were better or if he still thinks about them.

This is why I will tell my children to wait. Not just because God says so, but because it does involve someone other than themselves. It hurts the one they end up marrying. It hurts them later in life. I want my children to do their part of not instilling this lack of confidence that I find myself struggling with. Maybe we can raise our children to be a generation where sex isn't just sex, and it means something again. If abstinence isn't appealing to you because of God, maybe it can appeal to you when you think of that dream guy or girl. Wait for him. Wait for her. Wait for yourself.


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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!

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Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.

SANTAAAAAA

5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures

Giphy

Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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