I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

Know your worth and never settle for less than what you deserve.


I have always loved the idea of love and simply being in love. I love the idea of living happily ever after and having someone love me for me. With being a hopeless romantic when I was younger (I still kind of am now but with just higher standards) I never knew how exactly I should have been treated because I never felt worthy or I never felt like I deserved much so, whenever a relationship presented itself to me; I settled and I shouldn't have.

Now, I am not saying that those relationships were not great. One of those relationships lasted for about a year but within that relationship I wanted to think that I was happy but the truth was; I wasn't. I was happy with the idea of being in a relationship. I was happy with the idea of someone loving me for me. I was happy with the idea of my parents liking him. What I was not happy about was how I was being treated and how controlling he was in the relationship. Of course we broke up and I was upset like any girl would be so you would think that I realized how I deserved to be treated and what I really wanted out of a relationship; well you are wrong.

My next two relationships after that were ultimately the same. Things go well for a few months; last for about a year (one of them lasted for two years), we fought, I cried, we called each other bad names, but in the end we would try and work things out. After my last relationship ended I sat in my bed and cried for months because I thought that something was wrong with me. I thought that all of my failed relationships were my fault until one day I realized that none of it was my fault. I realized that I was always the one apologizing and always the one that would try to fix the relationship and make things work, I was the one who did not have a backbone and let the guy push me around and yet again; control the entire relationship. Both guys controlled who I was suppose to hang out with, who I was allowed to talk to, and even got upset when my male co worker asked me if I wanted to go on break together for our next shift. After a very long heart to heart conversations with my best friend she helped me realize my worth and how those boys were not worth my tears at all. That was when I figured out that instead of putting my foot down and realizing how worthy I was of a great relationship; I was just settling for less.

I honestly have not been in a relationship since my last relationship ended and it's been a long time. It's not that I am scared to be in a relationship again (okay I might be terrified a little bit) but I realized that I don't want to waste my time in a relationship if I know that they are not willing to commit. I'd be a liar if I said that I did not go on dates or have hardcore crushes on anyone because I did. I still went out on dates when guys asked me and I still developed that puppy crush on guys that I thought maybe they had potential, but that also allows me to see how they treat me if they were willing to commit. The last four years has allowed me to set my standards high. Going on dates and "talk" to guys allowed me to not settle for less. I've settled for less than what I truly deserved and even though I was happy for the time being, I was not TRULY happy with myself and how I was being treated.

So ladies, set your standards high and don't apologize for that. Don't settle for less than what you truly deserve. You are a queen and you are beautiful. You are worthy of so much more than you let yourself think that you deserve.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.


Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.


15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent


You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

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Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

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Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

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They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time


Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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