I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

I Used To Settle For Less And I Will Never Settle Again

Know your worth and never settle for less than what you deserve.

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I have always loved the idea of love and simply being in love. I love the idea of living happily ever after and having someone love me for me. With being a hopeless romantic when I was younger (I still kind of am now but with just higher standards) I never knew how exactly I should have been treated because I never felt worthy or I never felt like I deserved much so, whenever a relationship presented itself to me; I settled and I shouldn't have.

Now, I am not saying that those relationships were not great. One of those relationships lasted for about a year but within that relationship I wanted to think that I was happy but the truth was; I wasn't. I was happy with the idea of being in a relationship. I was happy with the idea of someone loving me for me. I was happy with the idea of my parents liking him. What I was not happy about was how I was being treated and how controlling he was in the relationship. Of course we broke up and I was upset like any girl would be so you would think that I realized how I deserved to be treated and what I really wanted out of a relationship; well you are wrong.

My next two relationships after that were ultimately the same. Things go well for a few months; last for about a year (one of them lasted for two years), we fought, I cried, we called each other bad names, but in the end we would try and work things out. After my last relationship ended I sat in my bed and cried for months because I thought that something was wrong with me. I thought that all of my failed relationships were my fault until one day I realized that none of it was my fault. I realized that I was always the one apologizing and always the one that would try to fix the relationship and make things work, I was the one who did not have a backbone and let the guy push me around and yet again; control the entire relationship. Both guys controlled who I was suppose to hang out with, who I was allowed to talk to, and even got upset when my male co worker asked me if I wanted to go on break together for our next shift. After a very long heart to heart conversations with my best friend she helped me realize my worth and how those boys were not worth my tears at all. That was when I figured out that instead of putting my foot down and realizing how worthy I was of a great relationship; I was just settling for less.

I honestly have not been in a relationship since my last relationship ended and it's been a long time. It's not that I am scared to be in a relationship again (okay I might be terrified a little bit) but I realized that I don't want to waste my time in a relationship if I know that they are not willing to commit. I'd be a liar if I said that I did not go on dates or have hardcore crushes on anyone because I did. I still went out on dates when guys asked me and I still developed that puppy crush on guys that I thought maybe they had potential, but that also allows me to see how they treat me if they were willing to commit. The last four years has allowed me to set my standards high. Going on dates and "talk" to guys allowed me to not settle for less. I've settled for less than what I truly deserved and even though I was happy for the time being, I was not TRULY happy with myself and how I was being treated.

So ladies, set your standards high and don't apologize for that. Don't settle for less than what you truly deserve. You are a queen and you are beautiful. You are worthy of so much more than you let yourself think that you deserve.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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