I got married very young, at 18 years old. A few months later my husband and I planned a baby and now here I am, four months away from turning 20 and being married for two years with a two-month-old baby. I wouldn't suggest this to anyone else my age (it's not easy being a parent) but for my husband and I it works. I think that any mom would agree that whether you planned your child at a young age or they were a surprise, that child changed who they were forever.
Having my son has made me an incredibly patient person. I have to be. Sometimes he cries and I can't figure out what's wrong so I have to just hold my baby while he screams and cries in my ear in an effort to comfort him. I need to be able to wait out those moments where he seems inconsolable. It's not always cuddles and smiles, and when it does get tough I can't just put him down and walk away or give him back to his parents like I used to with my little cousins -- I'm the one who has to have the patience to take care of him.
I'm more selfless now then I was before I had him. I don't even really choose to be, it's just something that happened when I had him. When I looked at his face for the first time I knew that there was nothing I wouldn't give to him, nothing I wouldn't do for him, even if it means I would have to do without. Do my husband and I still treat ourselves? Of course, but it's mostly about our son now. If we were ever in a situation where it came down to us only being able to get something for ourselves or something for our son we would, without hesitation, choose our son.
I swear my heart has grown 20 times its original size since having my son. I had so many plans of how I'd raise him when I was pregnant like letting him "cry it out" so that he can self-soothe and learn independence, but when I first held him in my arms that all went out the window. I turned into a giant marshmallow. I realized that everything is brand new and scary to this little person and even if he's just crying to be held and comforted that's OK. He's not going to get spoiled at such a young age from being cuddled, he needs that from me and I'm happy to give it to him. I can already tell that I won't be able to handle the first time he falls while learning walk, his first "boo-boo," or his first nightmare. And it's not just sad things that make me turn to mush. The other day he laughed for the first time and I cried out of joy. I didn't know why I was crying I just knew that I felt so happy in that moment.
Now, I'm not saying this stuff only applies to young moms. Of course any mom can relate to this, it's just that if you have a baby at the more common, older age, then odds are you've acquired these traits with time whereas if you have a baby young these things just hit you right away. You're trading in your selfish years (you know, the good kind of selfish, the kind where you focus on going out with friends whenever you can and spending your hard-earned money on yourself) for an endless amount of diapers and middle-of-the-night cuddles. Mom-ing ain't easy at any age but I think anyone will agree that it not only makes you a better person, it's also 100 percent worth every hardship.
