I Don't Pay For My Friends

I Don't Pay For My Friends

Money doesn't create friendships.
10
views

Today on sorority misconceptions debunked: Isn't being in a sorority just paying for your friends?

No, kind reader, I do not pay for my friends. I pay for some of the experiences that I have with the women in my chapter, who quickly become my friends because of the values that we share and the experiences that we have together.

I would not have known or been friends with many of the women in my chapter had it not been for my sorority. Our school is small, so we probably would have run into each other, but I doubt we would have had the bond that we have because of our chapter. Once that common bond gave us the opportunity to spend more time together, our friendships grew. We didn’t become friends because of our chapter alone—not everyone in a given sorority is best friends with every single one of their sisters, and that’s okay—but our chapter helped us to see in each other the potential for friendship.

So yes, we do pay membership fees to be a part of our chapter. But as VP of Finance, I can tell you pretty confidently that I do not pay for my friends. We pay for leadership opportunities, sisterhood weekends, and events for our philanthropy, among other things. But nowhere on the budget variance report does it say that we pay for our friends.

What’s more—if you’re going to apply this stereotype to sororities, it seems like it should be applied to other organizations. Fraternities, sports teams, clubs—heck, even Girl Scouts! Why aren’t these groups stereotyped as having to pay for their friends? One reason is because they haven’t been portrayed as negatively in the media as sororities have—if you watch any show or movie featuring “sorority girls,” they are almost always vapid and catty and the type of girls that you would expect to have to pay for their friends. Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that the cultural perception of women makes it hard to believe that a large group of women is capable of being friends.

Whatever the reason for the stereotype, it is totally false.

Money doesn't create friendships—common interests, values and experiences do.

Cover Image Credit: Kaleigh McIntyre

Popular Right Now

A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.
20898
views

Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Yes I'm A Sorority Girl, But Here's What I'm Not

I didn't "buy my friends"

215
views

I think there's such a negative stigma around Greek life in this world. Movies and TV have made it out to be crazy, continuous partying and full of hateful people all based on looks. I love being a part of Greek life for so many reasons. Here are some misconceptions about Greek life debunked.

1. I Didn't "Buy My Friends"

Giphy

My sisters are my friends because we all share common values, likes, and dislikes. We spend every day together, live together in the house, share group chats, and have similar majors so we are always together. No amount of money could've made the bond my sisters and I have and I wish people would realize the true bond between sisters because it's magical.

2. We Really Care About Our GPA's and Grades

Giphy

There's a certain GPA every Greek house requires you to meet in order to stay an active member. Plus, we always encourage study dates with other people in the house and some houses even throw study events to raise money for charities. Also, some of the top scholars known were in Greek life soooooo...

3. Philanthropyyyyyy!!

Giphy

Many people think we don't do anything but socialize when really our whole existence is based on philanthropies! We spend every semester raising awareness and money for the foundations we love and we have all ended up being some of the primary monetary donors for those causes!

4. We Don't Judge Based Off Looks

Giphy

It's what's on the inside that truly counts. We all have found our houses by our personalities and values, not by our looks. A house will want you if you share the same value as them and that's how you'll find your people.

5. We Also Don't Judge By The Brands You Wear

Giphy

It's true that many of the girls you may see in one house might all have something similar by a certain brand altogether, but that's just what being sisters is like. it's not like you have to buy certain expensive brands or dress a certain way to "fit in." Greek life is all about being yourself!

6. I'm Not Living Off "Daddy's Money"

Giphy

Most of us are on academic scholarships and have to maintain grades and a good image to keep going to our college. Not all of us were born rich, you know?

7. Partying. Nonstop Partying.

Giphy

It's true with any college student that it's fun to go out every now and then, but it isn't what Greek life consists of. Greek life is supposed to be finding your forever people, your second family, and your home away from home. These are the people you will rely on on your best days and worst, you don't have to party for that to happen. Plus, believe it or not, there are certainly Greeks who don't party or choose to stay away from that lifestyle.

Related Content

Facebook Comments