I love my family more than anything in the world. I call my parents almost every day when I'm away at college and one of the main reasons I picked George Mason was to be closer to my mom's side of the family. Even though I have so much love for my mom's family, there's a reason why I don't see my dad's side of the family.
I made the very conscious decision to stop speaking to my dad's side of the family on my 11th birthday. My own decision, without any coaxing from anyone else, as much as my father's family believes otherwise. Ever since I could remember, there was always opposition between the two sides of the family and almost all of it stemmed from the paternal side. Any time I was on the phone with my dad's mom, I had to dance around the fact that I had spoken to my other grandma earlier that day or visited with them at some point between that phone call and the last. My paternal grandmother always liked to ask anyways if I had seen my other grandma. I was young and knew lying was wrong so I would say yes because I didn't see why it would be a bad thing. I always regretted telling the truth because I was then guilted for seeing her and asked when I was going to visit my dad's side of the family. I was a child and had no control or idea over these plans so I would say I didn't know. The whole family was like that, not just my grandma.
I finally was sick and tired of the guilt on my own birthday because my 11th birthday was by far one of my worst ones. I had gotten lice from my sister, my period had started, and my grandmother had the audacity to lecture me about seeing my other grandmother. I flat out told her I didn't want to speak to her ever again, gave the phone to my dad, and never looked back.
I'm serious. I haven't spoken to any of my family on that side for 10 years. I've been told I'm horrible and frigid for doing this and I frankly don't give a damn. Why would I keep people in my life that hurt and try to manipulate me? It's not healthy or in my best interests. They haven't changed and they never will change. They're selfish and I'm only wanted when its convenient for them. That's not what family is. Family is there for you when times get tough because you love one another, family doesn't make you feel like an inconvenience. I'll be damned if I ever allow anyone to treat me like that. They may be my family by blood but their actions prove that we're not.
Have they tried to reach out to me since I've turned 18? Yes, and all messages were ignored. My aunt found me via George Mason's people finder to send me an email. I proceeded to block her and call my dad to scream about his sister violating my privacy by looking for me. My grandfather sent me a Facebook message pretending to not be sure if I was his granddaughter. I look like your son and there are very few Katie Schrums on Facebook.
So if you have family like this, it's not wrong to tell them you don't want anything to do with them. You deserve so much better than a family like that. Family doesn't just mean blood and you are not bound to be kind to them because you share blood. Do yourself a huge favor and cut them out of your life. I've never regretted my decision once in 10 years and I can guarantee you won't either.
