Love is sought after. Love with a partner is a beautiful part of this world. Yet, more often than not, in my opinion, we tend to make the assumption that falling in love is the only way one can be happy. That is not true.
Relationships are wonderful. They are a rare and brilliant part of life and in no way am I saying that people shouldn't be in a relationship, but happiness is not produced solely because of love. There is a link between love and happiness, but I don't think there is a bridge. You don't need to cross the bridge to find happiness on the other side. You could cross a completely different bridge and still find happiness.
I have found myself constantly looking for someone to fall in love with. Why? Because my brain tells me that is the only way I can be happy. The two relationships I have been in didn't happen because I was looking for them to happen or seeking them out. They developed from a friendship into a relationship. That's all there is to it. A sense of urgency and need was not there. There was no desperation to it, and there should never be.
Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from the little things. Happiness comes from friends. A quote from the musical, "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown" surprisingly does justice to what point I am trying to make: "Happiness is being alone every now and then". Charlie Brown gets it! You don't always need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. Charlie Brown was happy in the end even though he sent out a Valentine's Day card to everyone and didn't get a single one in return. Not one card! Ugh!
We need to let love find us instead of trying to find love. If we put that challenge to rest, then we can let other qualities ring freely. We can go out and discover a new hobby, come up with a new game with friends, or play in the snow instead of moping around because we don't have a significant other. That person will come find you one day and sweep you off your feet and carry you to Lovey-Dovey-Land. I may have made up that last part, but you guys are smart. You get it.
To be alone is a terrifying facet of life, but it is therapeutic. You get the chance to discover yourself and find out who you are, truly, to the furthest extent.
I was single for the first 18 years of my life and of course that was tough, but I remember saying something to myself around eighth or ninth grade to get my mind off of love. I said "I don't need a girlfriend, I'll find her someday" and I lost sight of that a month into college. Being single at college made me feel like it was a necessity to date someone, but it can wait.
Take the need for love out of focus and focus on you.
