It seems like everyone I meet tells me how much they miss where they grew up, where they went to high school and where their parents still live. They tell me how much they are craving the local restaurant and how much they miss their bed from back home. Pets are there, friends, mentors, etc. They seem so happy when they talk about their hometowns and genuinely feel sad when they talk about how they haven't been home in weeks. I don't feel the same way.
As much as I would love to agree with them and reminisce on how great life was when we still lived at home, I'm not going to. I can't because I don't believe it. I love my mom so much and she is my best friend, but she is one of the only things that I actually like about my hometown. One of five to be specific. One of which is a sushi restaurant. I won't sugar-coat anything to make people not feel sorry that I feel this way. I won't lie and say maybe I'm just being overdramatic.
I'm sure you're wondering why I dislike it so much. I'm sure you're thinking about what kind of horrible experience I had here to make me all crazy in the brain. Nothing awful happened, unless you count losing best friends and realizing they were never actually your friend to begin with. Well, that happens to all of us, so I can't really blame my dislike on them. Although they did kind of ruin high school for me. Oh well! Done and done!
I don't completely dislike my hometown because of people. I got over them. I don't dislike it because there isn't any good food here. I dislike it because of me. I'm the one to blame for the hatred I feel when I'm driving through my hometown. I hated who I was when I lived here. What I felt inside, the person I was. I was weak and scared and didn't want to live life like I knew that I could. I didn't see any amazing thing happening to me. I didn't think that was in the cards for me. I didn't want to be friends with anyone and purposely didn't make them. I didn't find myself beautiful and I thought no man would ever be interested in me. I didn't do well in school because I didn't see the point. I let mean, egotistical, backstabbing, horrible people get to me when I should have seen how they were actually treating me and cut them out of my life. I held grudges and assumed everyone was out to get me. I was jealous of what other people had and the awards they were given even though I knew I didn't try as hard as they did. I let my mind get the best of me. I wasn't happy.
So the reason why I don't miss my hometown is because whenever I'm here, all I can think about is the person who I used to be and how much time I wasted on her. Leaving was the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I'm so much more confident then I ever thought I could be. I look in the mirror and see beauty. I love my friends dearly and actually enjoy meeting new people. I understand people better than before and I can tell when people are being real with me. I love life and look forward to it everyday. I've had so many wonderful experiences already I can't imagine what the future has for me. School is going really well and my grades have never been better. I forgave the people who hurt people and I promise that was not easy. I miss my mom like crazy but I know she will always be there for me no matter what. I'm proud of what I've accomplished and hope to continue to make everyday count. I have a lot to catch up on!
