I currently live in a house with three of my best gal pals. It's a blast. But sometimes it feels more like there are actually seven roommates, as all of them are in serious relationships. Except me.
When other people hear about my situation, they offer pity.
"It must suck being the third wheel all the time."
And I respond, "It's actually more like seventh wheeling. Can you even count?"
But actually, I reject the condolences, as I truly don't mind third wheeling at all. I actually kind of like it. At least with my friends and their boyfriends.
Because here's the thing: my friends are smart. They have picked significant others they are truly compatible with. Because of this, it makes sense for me to get along with their SO, too. Basically, my friends' boyfriends just work as a bigger built-in friend group. With more people involved, there is usually always someone who is down to grab a beer or head to Taco Tuesday.
Also, going on outings is fun. However, not so much when you're all on your lonesome (although doable! I once had a whole row of the movie theater to myself during a showing of "Zootopia" and there was no one to judge me as a shoveled handfuls of popcorn into my face hole). A lot of people think you either have to go on these outings as a date or just with your friends. Combining the two could be awkward.
But I disagree! It can be a super fun way to get to know the person your friend loves. After a while, it's kind of like going on a date with your parents. In a good way. Recently, my go-to third wheel date is bowling. It's public enough that you don't have to deal with much PDA and involves some friendly competition.
I do acknowledge that not everyone wants someone to jump into their date plans. At least not all the time. And I totally understand that. I wouldn't want that either. But I think it's important to find balance within your friendships. And I think it's good for my friends and their SOs to occasionally have more daily interactions than just staring at each other for 22 hours out of the day.
And don't get me wrong, I definitely still value alone time with my lady friends. And my friends are very good about making time to do that. But I also realize that as we get older, these relationships will potentially become more serious. I would rather take the time to get to know the people who are impacting my friends' lives with the hope that this will enable me to easily stay involved as we move on from this college town in the next year.
After all, tricycles are more stable and way less likely to crash and burn than the typical two-wheeler! So I'm just going to keep forcing myself into y'all's relationships. Sorry not sorry.
