These past two weeks have been the busiest, wildest, and most trying of my college career yet. There have been many late nights, many long conversations about life and the future, and many shed tears. There has also been much laughter, joy, and my friends have been there with me these past weeks of late.
A few days ago, I was in the passenger seat of a friend's car as we were driving and picking up last minute supplies for the Homecoming Parade, and there was a moment, as I was looking out the window, listening to the laughter echoing and escaping from the windows of the car, that I just stopped, and thought, like I usually do. I was happy, but I felt melancholy. I was aware of an unfulfilled wish I had, a wish whose future was uncertain. Time seemed to stop. It seemed that I was simultaneously present but absent. There are moments when time seems to stop, and yet it feels like it is passing you by. It is missing you and leaving you behind at an immeasurable rate.
We have a choice. We can choose to let moments pass us by, or we can choose the take advantage of them. We can live in those moments or we can let them cease to exist. And we are given the choice to make our own moments, too. But rarely is any of this easy.
For example, when I was younger, when I would be around a group of friends or a person I liked a great deal, people around them would tell me that I was annoying, and a bother. It happened for a long time. Today I see the effects of that treatment. When I really want to hang out with the people I truly care about, I hesitate in messaging them to do something, because I am afraid that they won't want me around, because I have already hung out with them a lot. So if ever I happen to message you, know that you are a true friend of mine, and that I want to hang out with you because of the fantastic person you are. If there is one thing that I am going to avow, it is this: I am not going to hesitate anymore. I am going to message you if I want to hang out. I am going to take advantage of the time I have with the people around me, because life is terribly short, and I don't want time to leave me behind. I want to fully live every moment I have, without fear or worry, and I want to take advantage of the years I have left in college with the people I love and care about.
It is odd; when you become aware of a moment as it is occurring. But it makes it that much more important. It makes it that much more memorable. Don't live life by "almost." Don't live life regretting the chances you didn't take, the loves you didn't confess, and the moments you didn't take advantage of. Plan for the future, but don't neglect your life right now, because you can never get these moments back. Don't let life just pass you by. Take those chances, take that aimless midnight drive, find what makes you happy, if you love someone, tell them, play quirky games in the car, just don't let it pass you by. Don't lose those moments. Those moments are the memories that you will hold onto for years to come. You deserve it.
So go out there and do it.
