Growing up Catholic I was taught that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. That the Bible is inspired and reveals the word of God. The Bible is written without error and has no alternative meaning. I went to CCD every week until I was 13 and I went to church every Sunday listening to the priest talk about Jesus and God as if they were old friends. I never judged what others believed in because I was never sure what I believed in.
Being raised a religion and practicing a religion are two completely different things. Going to church every Sunday never really jived with me. When I was finally old enough my mom let me choose if I still wanted to go to church and I said no. Being around the age of 13/14 I was rebelling against everything, of course I said I didn’t want to go. At the time I didn’t really believe in anything, I was selfish.
Flash forward eight years and I found myself working in a Catholic school. It was mandatory to take my students to mass every Friday. The first couple of weeks I kind of was dreading it. Soon it became second nature, I was excited to go to mass and listen to the priest talk. It was my choice this time around and I was going to make the most out of it. I started praying regularly and I found comfort in God. However, that was short lived. It didn’t feel right; I didn’t belong still.
I was lost for a while; not so sure why different things were happening in my life. I was alone, scared, and confused I felt like I had no one to turn to. I had already tried to turn to the catholic religion for answers but I never really felt complete or comfortable.
I have learned that it is ok to not belong. I found what I was looking for even though it was still the unknown. I still pray every night, but I don’t technically pray to anyone in particular. I do believe that there is a higher being and we are merely specs on their radar. I pray because I am extremely thankful to be alive, I am thankful for my family, friends, and my puppy. I am thankful for all the opportunities I was able to take advantage of throughout my life. I find comfort into praying at night. It makes me feel like I am telling someone or something else my deepest feelings and emotions. Things I’m afraid to say out loud I can tell to whoever is listening to me. Comfort is like a blanket, the tighter it is the safer you feel.
Believing in something that is bigger than you helps put life into perspective. There is so much hate in the world because of what religion someone practices. Even in the same religion people interpret everything differently. We should not judge because of what others believe. What others find comfort in should not be anyone else’s business. It is ok to believe in whatever you believe in. Don’t let differences make you hateful or fearful.
“Faith is like Wi-Fi it’s invisible but it has the power to connect you to what you need”
