“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
It’s the question I’ve been asked all through life. When I was 5 years old, it was a ballerina; at 10, it was a lawyer; at 16, a marine biologist; but this is the first time I have no idea. It’s a weird feeling, being in this limbo, not having any idea of where I am going to be in ten years while everyone around me seems to be on a set path. I’m finally at the point in my life where I’m supposed to pick my future career. Majors have to be chosen and internships have to be applied for; but as I sit here trying to decide, I can only figure out who I want to be, not what.
I want to be the person who never gives up. I want to laugh in the face of failure and get right back up when I fall down because I can never grow if I stop after one try.
I want to be hopeful, always seeing the best in situations and pushing others to do the same. I want to live my life thinking about the good things, not the bad.
I want to be the person a friend turns to when in need. Someone others know they can count on and trust for advice. The one who people don’t feel will turn them away, judge or disregard them.
I want to travel. The world is such a big and beautiful place, I can’t stand the idea of limiting myself to only seeing right beyond my front yard.
When I grow up, I want to be full of love, love for life, for people, for everything I participate in. Life is so short, it doesn’t make sense to spend it on hating others.
I want to be able to let go. I want to let go of the things I cannot change and come to terms with the mistakes I have made.
I want to find meaning. Not in a “what is the meaning of life?” way, but in a “what is the purpose of this?" way. I want to try things out, I want to experience things, I want to understand what’s happening, whether it be with people, events or myself.
In all honesty, I am not all of these things yet, as a matter of fact, I’m not most of these things yet. It may take me four months, it may take me four years, but one day I know this is the woman I want to become. So, yeah, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I’m not worried. I think in the end it’s more important to know you who want to be as opposed to what, because your job doesn’t define you, your actions do.
