I've found that there are so many times when I'm struggling or overwhelmed with my responsibilities or emotions and I just want someone to be there. I just want to be around people for a while or a select few that I feel comfortable enough around that I can talk about what I'm dealing with and just have an ear and know I'm not alone. Other times, I get a "can-do" attitude and I just want to solve the problem

. This can cause me some issues when I notice someone is not themselves and they're distracted by problems or situations that I'm not privy to or don't understand.

This bring me to a piece of advice I'm still trying to understand myself: don't judge someone at their worst. I tend to believe that there's good in everyone (perhaps not always true), but regardless there's always a potential for goodness in people, and it's that light that we should look for when someone is treating us less than we deserve. This doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to remain in a situation that is unhealthy for us--separation is sometimes necessary. However, it also means that just because someone is acting a certain way doesn't mean they're a certain "type" of person.

It's also important to look at someone as a whole before judging whether they're personally acting a certain way towards you or whether there's something greater at play. For example, if you have a friend that's acting distant or aloof and you're not sure why, it's important to look at the various components that are at play. I know personally when I start to feel distanced it's because I'm refusing to reach out, not because there aren't people there to listen.

As a Christian, I also realize the importance of building up my relationship with God before trying to build relationships up with other people around me. I can't be the example I've been called to be if I simultaneously attempt to build up my relationship with Him but yet seek attention, affection and intimacy with someone else without having that foundation to teach me how to love in the first place. I've also realized recently that when our walk is not where it needs to be, everything around us suffers and we don't say and do the things we're intended for and we can end up hurting people in many ways, including ourselves. That's when it's critically important to just simply be present and let yourself be an accepting person that is approachable and not judgmental. We all say and do things we shouldn't-- that's a fact of human nature. However, our propensity to judge (misjudge) is something we can control.

Moving forward, always take a moment when someone treats you differently than you expect to understand that it's probably not personal. And if it is, it doesn't reflect on you anyway. However, how you react to that person will.