I don’t have a five year plan. I mean, I have a general, very vague idea of where I’d like to be in five years. I’d like to finish my degree on time, and maybe be in grad school? Or maybe law school? Or maybe one year into a career? Or maybe in the Peace Corps? Or… Well, you get the drift.
Admitting that I literally have like half a clue of what I want to do with my life was very hard. I tend to err on the side of control freak, and I started visiting colleges my freshman year of high school. My plan changed a few times, but the common theme was that I always HAD a plan.
The summer after I graduated, I was waitressing at the smaller diner that was very popular with people I’ve known my entire life. They’d ask me my plan for after graduation, and I’d explain that I wanted to double major in biology and neuroscience and minor in gender, sexuality, and women’s studies. I wanted to go to medical school. I wanted to be a surgeon and eventually join Doctors Without Borders.
As it turns out, I’m much better at writing than I am at math, and a year later I’m pursuing a double major in English Writing and Anthropology. I’m still getting the GSWS certificate, so at least there’s that.
Now, a lot of people still ask me how school is, and I tell them that honesty, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life, Pittsburgh is the best city in the world, and I have AMAZING friends.
Then they ask about my major. Half the time I have to explain what Anthropology is, and break everyone’s hearts when I tell them I don’t want to focus on dinosaurs. This doesn’t bother me, because I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY MAJOR, as I’m exceptionally passionate about it.
What does bother me is the people who have the gall to question my employment prospects. They get rude, or tell me I'm wasting money in college. They ask if my parents are disappointed, or say that I'm just confused.
But here's the thing: I don’t know what I’m going to do the rest of my life. I just turned nineteen a week ago, and I'm okay with this limbo I'm in. I’m sure you’re not doing what you through you would be doing at nineteen, and that’s okay. Humans change and grow, and that’s beautiful. Now that I don’t have to go to medical school, I’m free to explore the world. I’m free to find what I am meant to be.
I don’t have a five year plan, in terms of employment. But I do know that I want to be healthy, and happy. I want to be surrounded by those who love me. I want to have a decent job that I love. I want to maybe have a dog.
I don’t know how I’m going to get there, but that’s okay. Trust me on this one, especially because only I can mess up my own life from here on out.
