I was with this man for over a year..To be completely honest with you, the way he loved me made me feel like I was invincible. I felt confident and for the first time..completely out of my element. I’d never been the overly “sure of herself” girl. In fact, I found myself to be quite the opposite. I had my widely insecure moments, but for the most part, I tried to be neither at all. I thought I’d be happier that way.

I had been with a handful of guys who I know cared for me, but ultimately didn’t feel as strongly for me as I had felt for them. Sometimes it was different, but I guess regularly? It wasn’t at all.

So when I found the man that loved me exceedingly, I couldn’t think of any reason to not spend the rest of my life with him.

Isn’t that what we all want? To be with someone who loves us even more than we love them? To know that no matter what flaw you may find vulgar or repulsive, he still loves you for.

I was with this man because I had only this mindset for the entire time I was his. I thought being with him would make me even stronger.

For that, I began to use him.

I thought being with this man would make me wiser.

For that, I began to use him.

I thought being with this man would help my self-esteem.

For that, I began to use him.

I thought a lot of things, and conclusively used him each time.

It turned into a relationship where I was so sure he loved me, it didn’t even occur to me that my feelings weren’t an even comparison.

I stayed with the man who loved me more because I thought my future children would see how much he loved me, and treat their boyfriend or girlfriend-one day-like the entire world. Each day (though I thought impossible) he began to love me more and more, and I was so use to this rooted love that I almost forgot how to give it back, or maybe I didn’t care to.

You see when we stay with the people that love us more than we love them, we slowly become blind to everything they’ve managed to give us because we don’t care enough to see. I loved this man, but not as much as he loved me.

You would have thought from the moment that I knew this, I would have ended it with him..and today, I know if I could go back and time, I would have because he deserved way more.

The truth is, I convinced myself that ending up with the guy that loved me more than I loved him would be a good thing. I would never have to question what I was to him, or who I was in the world, what purpose I served...nothing at all.

The even realer truth is...I was wrong.

I didn’t find myself, know my purpose, or figure out why I’m here at all.

However, I did find a guy who loves me just as much as I love him. For the first time I’m able to see clearly now. I have learned equal respect, and to also not take advantage. He has taught me so many lessons, and I in return strive to teach him the exact same. We build one another to make each other great. With him, it’s never just one of us doing the work, we both put in time, and after awhile, I began to realize that kind of love was the love that would serve the greatest purpose to and for me.

Don’t marry the guy who loves you more than you love him. Over time, I even realized being with the one who loves me the same has pushed me to all new levels, that I never would have strived for if I settled for the guy who made me feel like I was already perfect.

I’m not perfect. That’s just the truth. You’re not, and the girl beside you isn’t either. When we believe that we are, we stop reaching for things, and expect others to reach for them for us.

The man I’m with now, never reminds me that I’m not perfect, but he just shows me what all I could be, and I realize now that if I keep going at this rate, then my life will continually be all I need it to be.