Many people change when they start dating someone new. It is a common thing that humans think need to happen in order for the person they are interested in to want to be with them. We often hide the attributes we are most embarrassed about and don't want to show our new partner anything that may be a "deal breaker." It is certainly not easy to stay true to yourself. There have been many times that I have changed myself because that's who I thought the person wanted to be with. I am just saying to not lose the person you are for the person you want to be with. You are stuck with you, they aren't. Become someone who you love, not just who they love. Become someone you can live with, not someone they can.
I have been in many relationships, short and long, that ended with me wandering around wondering who I was and where I go from there. That is simply because I lost myself along the way and just fused with the person I was dating. I became a part of them, almost like an extra limb. I was never a separate entity. It was never ____ and Michaela, it was always ______ and I was just the expected tag along. I was never considered my own person, I was always ________'s girlfriend.
These people in your life may not be permanent, no matter how permanent they feel at the time. People change and leave. People turn into someone they never said or thought they would be. They become someone that makes you regret giving so much of yourself to them. I am not saying to always keep a wall up and that blending you with someone else is always bad. Just recognize the line between healthiness and toxicity.
Staying healthy is staying yourself. This person fell for you because of you, not because they wanted to change you into who they thought you should be. Remember that. Crossing the line to toxicity means only doing things they do, only hanging out with their friends and only defining your self-worth by what they think about you.
Don't be the person who is stuck trying to find themselves again after a break up. Don't be the one that feels so stuck and confused because you relied so much on the other person for life that you don't know who you are anymore. Don't be the one that is trying to figure out who they can now hang out with or how to move on from the person that they were just with. It just turns into something more difficult and hurtful than it should be. Relationships are always about two people, so make sure you keep it as two. Turning it into one and a half or fusing together as one person will just make you lose yourself, and yourself is the only person you should ever want to be and impress.
