I Don't Care What You Think About Me

I Don't Care What You Think About Me

I'm not perfect and I know it.
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It's taken me a while to get to this point. Not many people can say that they don't care about the opinions of others. It's something we've been conditioned to do and certainly is something that we all struggle with.

I have spent countless nights awake thinking of things I wished I said in certain situations and wondering if they would change how people perceive me. I have woken up unnecessarily early to make sure my hair and makeup would be perfect to go to a single class. I used to almost be afraid of the idea of not wearing any makeup and having my hair pulled back with the fear of people judging me for not looking perfect.

I think there comes a point in life as we get older that we finally get over the fear of not being perfect. We stop worrying about what others might think about us and roll out of bed in sweatpants, throw our hair in a ponytail and go out the door without a second glance in the mirror. While I can't say I am at this point every day, I think that I have gotten to the point where I am truly comfortable in my own skin.

When we finally begin to accept ourselves and stop obsessing over the judgement of others we can start to actually live and enjoy our lives. We can walk into a crowded room alone without feeling like everyone is staring or speak up without fear of drawing attention to ourselves.

I don't care what you think about me not because I don't value your opinion, but because I am finally comfortable in who I am. I'm not perfect and I know it and that's perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: http://isyloo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/inspiringwallpapers.net-mood-girl-walking-alone-1600x1200.jpg

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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