I don't know you. We've never met before. We're not in a relationship. Hell, we probably won't ever meet again. I'll never understand why men think it's OK to call me "sweetie," or to tell me to smile or that I would "look so much better without all that makeup." I know you don't say anything remotely close to this to other grown men.
Why then do you need to personalize our interaction? I get that you don't know my name, and that's fine. I prefer that strangers do not call me by my first name anyway -- way too weird -- yet somehow you manage to make it even stranger. You're making me so uncomfortable, but I don't think you notice.
There is something so odd about our society that makes people think that it's OK to comment on a woman's appearance or inquire about her personal identity. You don't know if I'm sweet. Do I look like a piece of candy to you?
It's ridiculous that we can't be seen as people, but rather as pets that need a pet name. We cannot walk around anywhere without strange men yelling things at us or acting like they know anything about us. We're always forced to be "ladies" and only belong to someone else; someone's mother, daughter or sister. Why can't I belong to myself?
And here's something else I want you to know: it's OK for a woman to do this but not you. Please don't scream "sexism!" -- because the oppressors cannot be oppressed. We don't infantilize each other because we're all in the same boat; it's guaranteed that at least once in every woman's life a man has called her "dear," "honey," "darling" or "sweetheart." It's a universally shared experience that enrages a large number of us.
Don't get me wrong, some women and girls might be OK with it -- but only if they're a waiter. But in all seriousness, I do not aim to speak for every woman because, despite popular opinion, we are all individuals with varying degrees of tolerance. Some may not care about how a stranger addresses them because that can seem very minor. But in my everyday life I'm faced with the sad truth that I cannot do even the simplest things without some strange man making an absent-minded comment that assumes something about my character. Yes, even a simple name change can disrupt someone's image of themselves or who they think they're supposed to be. Girls and women aren't supposed to be anything other than kind and respectful; two traits every human being should have.
So please, treat every woman you know and encounter with respect, and don't call them "sweetie."
