“Find yourself”. You’ve probably seen it posted on social media in some cliché inspirational picture. You may have even seen it printed on totally irrelevant objects, like a mug or a pillow. You've heard people utter a similar phrase and it may have passed your own lips at one time or another.
I think our culture likes the idea of being lost. Or actually, we like the idea of searching and being on a journey. We entertain the idea that we are on a mission to find ourselves instead of simply wandering aimlessly around the Earth. It implies that there is one ideal person you are to become. You just need to find that person. It makes it sound like there is only one version of yourself that is worth becoming. It implies that there is an end goal. The idea sounds really inspirational at first, but I think it sends people down the wrong path. It limits them. I don’t think that we’re supposed to find ourselves. I think that life is about creating yourself.
Initially, I was all for the “find-yourself” bandwagon. As someone who experienced more than my fair share of emotional damage in early high school, I felt as though I had no idea who I was anymore. I felt like deep in my subconscious I used to know, but I had lost myself and needed to set out on a journey to find me again. The farther I went down this path though, I didn’t feel like I was searching for something that went missing. Instead, I felt like I was creating something totally and completely new. Surely, we are creative people. Just look at the artwork, the technology and the writings that we've produced. We were created to create. Our own self is the most intricate piece of artwork of which we will ever be a part. We are a blank canvas that we’re adding to every day.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we all have our own gifts and talents, and that each of us may be predisposed to certain ways. I don’t, however, believe that there is one specific person who we are supposed to be, or that we have one calling. We have choices and we evolve. We have free will. We have the power to decide who we want to be and, in turn, how we want to spend our lives.
When you decide to set out on a journey to “find yourself,” it’s like looking through a tunnel. You’re so focused on what’s straight ahead on your destination, that you miss everything else. You think you know where you’re headed, and you end up missing the amazing opportunity to create your own path. Our ability to create is arguably one of the greatest gifts we've been blessed with. The whole point of life is to experience things and find out how exactly these experiences can shape you and expand your worldview. We’re not wandering; we’re constructing. We’re not lost; we’re living.
The greatest thing you will ever create is yourself. That is, if you let go of the idea that you’re something that needs to be found.
