When it comes to being a parent, I can understand that it's not easy. I can understand that there are obstacles, and hard times, so on and so forth. But, if you can't handle those situations in the correct manner, then you need to rethink your parenting processes. You don't want to be that parent, anyways. You want to be the parent that has a relationship with his/her children and can help them through hardships, not the parent that tells them to figure it out on their own.
Right now, you're probably thinking, "What does she know about the way I parent?" Well, honestly, nothing! But, I can tell you what it does to your children. So, here are a few topics on the parent you don't want to be.
1. Don't be the parent that speaks of financial instability to/with/around your children
When you do this, you put stress on their shoulders. To you, you think "why would they be stressed, they're not the ones that have to work every day and pay the bills." But in all reality, when they hear that, they worry for you. They stress and worry out of love for you when they have absolutely no control over the situation. Don't be that parent
2. Don't be that parent that yells at their child(ren) for accidents
Accidents happen. And your favorite antique vase may be broken, but do you think yelling and screaming at your kid(s) is going to fix it? No. Handle the situation better. Explain not to run through the house, instead of yelling and telling them to go to their bedroom and to stay in there until dinner. "Pick and choose your battles"
3. Don't be that parent that is against being their child's friend
When you make the mistake of telling/letting your child know that you are not their friend and that you are their mother or father and that there is a difference - it will hurt a child and make them feel confused. They will feel like they will never be able to talk to you about whatever is going on with them personally, without getting in trouble. Be the parent that can listen to your child, even if it's hard to hear, and give them advice instead of turning it into a lecture.
4. Don't be that parent that sounds annoyed when you child talks to you
If you sigh or take in a deep breath every time your child tries to talk to you, they're going to feel like they're unwanted by you. Show them you care. Show them that you are there for them by letting them know you can and will listen to what they have to say. Trust me, your TV show is NOT more important than your child.
5. Don't be that parent that demands
If you demand, chances are you're either going to have a child that is afraid of you, or a child that mouths back because they feel like a slave to you. Instead of demanding that things be done your way, ask your child to do the chore; or make a fun chore list that has a small reward at the bottom of it. Learn how to make events that aren't fun for your child, bearable to resist arguments.
6. Don't be that parent that threatens their child with having to move out
Say you have a teenager that's been having problems with respect, etc. and you find yourself in a debate with them, so you say "fine, get out!". Seriously? I don't even feel like I need to explain what's wrong with this. This isn't parenting, it's giving up and acting like you don't care.
7. Don't be that parent that blames the children.
When something goes wrong, don't blame your children. Making your children feel like everything is their fault can be so destructive. Instead of placing the blame, teach your children how to deal with negative situations with positivity, instead of more negativity.
8. Don't be that parent that tells their child to deal with it on their own
How is your child supposed to know how to handle a situation on their own that they've never encountered before? Help them through it. Don't let them walk into fire, just because you are trying to prove your dominance.
9. Don't be that parent that pushes their child too hard
Whether it's sports or academics, it doesn't matter. You cannot push your child to their breaking point. Don't push them too far. When they strike out in that ballgame, don't throw your hands up in the air and then walk to your car like you're mad at them; and then when the game is over, don't be all over them for striking out - IT HAPPENS. Or, if they get a C on a test and you think they should've gotten at least a B or higher and you tell them, "what in the world were you doing? Obviously not studying enough". "Work harder". "You're grounded until your next test is over and I see that you've gotten an A." Like, just DON'T. They already feel like they screwed up bad enough, you should help them figure it out instead of pushing them to their limit.
Of the many things that can be the easiest solution to parents, here are eight.
Don't Be That Parent - realize how fast your child will grow up. Make that time as enjoyable as you can. Let them know that you are their friend and that you're there to help them and be there for them.
