“Close your eyes.”
I did so.
“Imagine all of your stresses and worries, the things that plague your mind every day. The things you wish you could change...the things dragging you down, keeping you from being happy.”
This made me open my eyes just briefly. Wasn’t she supposed to be comforting me, not making me focus on all the negative aspects of my life? I shifted from one foot to the other--uncomfortable.
Puzzled, I took a look around me. We stood ankle-deep in a creek not too far from home, a creek surrounded by woods and earth. For miles and miles only trees existed, along with the rustling spring water. I took a few steps backwards to observe the scene; I nearly slipped and broke my face.
“Just imagine everything negative in your life, Liz,” she told me, as if she knew better. With a little bit of hesitation, I decided to comply.
Inhaling the fresh air, I pictured all my worries coming to life. In my mind I saw them, a panoramic vision, until they seemed to shake my hand. It was absolutely horrifying, and yet once I started, I couldn’t stop. It was quite similar to the way anxiety takes hold of a person--first coming up to greet them, then holding them hostage. Suffocating them. I didn’t want to let my worries suffocate me, but here they were.
And there I was, letting them inside my house. Inside my walls.
My friend began to speak again, but her words felt distant, as if she were underwater. Still, I tried my best to piece them together and make sense of them; I had to get rid of these fears now that I welcomed them.
“Open your eyes now.”
I gazed at the sparking water, how perfectly the sun shone through the trees to make it that way. I wish I could feel enlightened; I wish my internal trees would give way.
“Do you see how the water rushes down the hill?” I did. “The current is drifting away from us.”
I nodded without understanding.
“All of your problems, fears, and worries...all of the anxiety that you feel and have just imagined. I want you to imagine that it is the water, drifting away from us.” And that’s when she said two of the most powerful words I’d ever known:
“Let go.”
Those same fears gave one final pull at me, trying to latch on. Persistent, I pushed them away, not wanting to see them ever again. They were no longer welcome--not here, not anywhere. If I were to become a new person, I would begin by killing old mindsets. Old insecurities that kept me from growing. I watched as the creek said goodbye to them--as I said goodbye to them--because they were no longer useful, no longer welcome.
We lose bits and pieces of ourselves as we let go, and in turn we mold into different, better people. Without this process we cling onto situations no longer meant for us. We stagnate our own personal growth because we’re afraid. Once we lose just a little bit of this fear, we start our journey of becoming who we never thought we could be.
Although I cannot always be near a creek, I took the ideology with me and hope you will, too.
