Ah, feelings- you painfully frustrating f**kers. One day you’re happy, the next you’re sad. One minute you think you found your soul mate, the next you forget why you ever wasted a brain cell thinking about them. You get the point- feelings can suck. But why is that?

You would think people would jump at the opportunity to be happy and excited about someone. However, I’ve realized it’s quite the contrary nowadays. Even in high school, only three years ago, having a crush and developing a relationship with someone was such a thrill! So I know for a fact things didn’t used to be this way!

But now, as a junior in college, I find myself dreading the next time I catch anything close to resembling said “feelings.”

In case it hasn’t become somewhat apparent by now, I tend to think. A lot. I overthink, I overanalyze, my mind is basically constantly waiting for the next thing to dissect (shoutout anxiety thank you so much for that)! So, naturally, I’ve spent a lot of time considering why exactly it is that so many of us avoid feelings like the plague.

The conclusion I have reached? It’s fear. Hate to break it to you, but we’re living in a generation of pure and utter fear. Sure, maybe you’ve gone bungee jumping in Australia, jumped out of a plane 12,000 feet in the air, but feelings?!?! NO. TOOOO SCARY.

Where does this fear come from you ask? I have many-a-theories on this one. However, if I had to pinpoint it I’d go with social media. Shocker right?! Never heard me blame that one for anything! Ha. Anyways, back to social media. I know I tear the poor guy apart, but really can you blame me?

With all of the games people have learned to play through texting, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc. we have basically become immune to replacing in-person human interactions with a bright rectangular object we jab with our thumbs all day. I mean, you can literally have a relationship with someone via Snapchat. Oh, 40-day Snapchat streak?! Good for you!!! When’s the wedding?!?!

I’m not saying everyone needs to be in a relationship. By all means, do yo thang go crazy live it up in the single life! But for those who do engage in such behaviors as the Snapchat relationships, the consistent texting, and the hooking up all with the same person, and yet say “I think you’re cool but I just am not looking for anything serious right now,” then I’m sorry but you’re a coward.

You want the main aspects of a relationship- consistent communication, sex, and spending time with someone you think is dope- but as soon as that label “relationship” is out there, BOOM you’re a goner.

To be honest, I find the whole thing depressing. Why wouldn’t anyone want to give it their all if they find someone they genuinely enjoy being around? Wouldn’t you want to pursue that to its fullest potential rather than wonder “what if?” Let’s look at it this way: pretend you found a new song you reallllly fook with. Not only do you listen to the whole thing from start to finish, but you listen to it on repeat until you know just about every word.

So why can’t we commit ourselves to people we like and give them the chance to "listen" to them in this same way? What I'm trying to say here is that we all have passions whether they be music, sports, writing, singing, dancing, etc., the bottom line is we commit ourselves to pursuing things we like for exactly that reason- we like them.

Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic. Actually, lemme change that to a fact- I AM a hopeless romantic (after all, I am a Pisces). I wear my heart on my sleeve, I allow myself to be vulnerable, I get called crazy for standing up for myself when I feel wronged, I get hurt. Yeah, sh**t happens.

People come, people go and it’s all a learning lesson. I have never been nor ever will be someone who doesn’t voice her opinion, especially when it comes to my emotions and general well being.

Sorry that I’m a human, with human feelings (YES, I said it I HAVE FEELINGS)!! Bottom line, if you don’t want to get involved with someone nobody can blame you for that.. But just do exactly that- don’t get involved. Cuz hey, people catch feels.