As adults, we all should have some contextual understanding of what is and is not appropriate when conversing with others. But as a black woman, far too often I get asked questions that make me feel a bit uncomfortable; with the most frequently asked question being "Is that your real hair?" Now, what is rude about this question is that the majority of those who ask it are already under the impression that it is not my real hair. From the wig snatching and extension pullings of our Hollywood "reality" tv stars, America and the rest of the world seems to think that black women and weave have somewhat of a stronger bond than those belonging to other ethnic groups. Even when my hair is all black, and matches the hue of my eyebrows, it's length brings into question its authenticity; as if a required length was bestowed upon black women down from the heavens, in order to qualify as being black.

Now, back to the question of asking "is that your real hair?" Although it's often a question made out of mere curiosity without any harmful intent behind it, it is inappropriate. It's rare to see non-black women go to someone of their own race and bluntly ask "Is that your real hair?" Because it's a stereotypical assumption that black women and weave have a synonymous relationship. Someone telling you whether or not their hair is real does in no way benefit yourself than to provide your ego with content and fulfill your own naive curiosity.

The hair of black women is diverse and can come in any length, color, shape, or form. Asking such a question does nothing but to perpetuate the stereotype and place the responder in an uncomfortable and sometimes awkward position. I was always asked this question in a room or location filled with many of my peers, never pulled off to the side away from all of the prying eyes and hungry ears who too probably sought such knowledge. It is not okay to put someone in the spotlight thus forcing them to respond, especially when the relationship is only that of two acquaintances or worse...strangers. It should not matter what I have on/in my hair, whether it's a wig, extensions, braiding hair, or it's simply that of my own through genetics; whatever is on my head belongs to ME. It's okay to admire one's hair, but it's another thing to bring into question its authenticity in order to selfishly fulfill your own curiosity. Throwing in a compliment before or after you've asked the question also does nothing to make the situation any better. Hair is hair, love it or hate it, just don't ask about it or touch it without permission.