"Are you busy right now?"
I usually answer that question with unsure responses like, "Not really" or "Kind of." After 21 years, I've finally come to my senses; I cannot be free on command, no matter how much I'd like to be on occasion, and altering the manner in which I say I'm probably too busy to add another commitment to my life doesn't change that fact.
I'm one of those people who enjoys a full, long day. Of course, I like to balance my work and my social life. That doesn't mean that I don't complain about it at the same time, but I truly love putting forth a hard day's work and coming home covered in sweat and sore muscles.
I tend to sign up for everything that interests me. Journalism, publishing, fiction writing - I'll do it all, and I'll do it religiously.
My planner is overflowing with notes and its pages are curling from the amount of times I've circled, underlined, and starred my daily to-do lists.
I have a meeting at nine, a project due in a week, a paper to finish tonight, and a novel to read by tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point that I write "shower" and "eat" in the margins of my notebooks and on the back of my hand so I won't forget.
My life promotes this kind of exhaustive schedule, and I get bored if I'm not doing something.
Recently, I've had more and more people become frustrated with me for being busy because they would rather me be able to text them in a moment's notice about a time-sensitive issue or meet on a school night for a study party that always turn out be less studying than partying.
I've received annoyed stares and tons of rolled eyes in response to "Hold on, let me check my calendar." Just so you know, that doesn't mean that I'm hesitating; that means I'm planning. I know it's probably frustrating that I do that after every question, but it's just because I don't want to let anyone down. That includes myself.
What some people don't understand is that being busy means that people are doing things - hopefully things they enjoy doing or things they value. Important things.
Being busy should not equate to being unenthused or unwilling to hang out. Being busy a few times should not lead to a stamp on a friendship contract that says "Rejected."
On the flip side, if someone is constantly claiming they're too busy as an excuse, then that's unacceptable. Being busy should not be a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Being busy should be a legitimate explanation, one that demands a certain amount of respect and understanding, and I'm not going to apologize for being involved and a little unavailable at times.
As long as I make time when it matters, then being busy isn't a problem, and I'm tired of people thinking it is.
