I mean more than physically living alone. I want to learn to be content with myself 24/7. I almost feel like that’s what I am being forced into embracing. Life is hard. We all know that. Moving to a new city with few friends- hard. Living with roommates constantly gone only to stop in to shower or sleep- even worse.

I spend every single night at home with my dog. Don’t get my wrong, I love my time at home with my pup. He means the world to me! But a girl needs some human interaction every once in a while!

I wish I was mentally strong enough and content in myself to watch my roommates leave day after day and not feel a tinge of shame or abandonment. Overthinking is killer and when all you have is your pup to console you, he does a fine job with the cuddles but not so much the talking.

I want to be able to watch people come and go in my life and be solid enough to urge them to go! To not question my personality, character or wonder what I continue to do wrong.

I pray for the day that I gain enough confidence in myself to see that I am enough! That I only need myself. That the company of others or how many people I have around me do not measure the importance of me.

I try to not allow it to consume me, but I am working day by day. It is a slow process. One that with every closing of the front door something small flickers within. My emotions race up, but I urge them down and focus on what my time alone gives me.

Living alone means confidence. It means emotional stability, self contentment, self love and pure joy for life. I want to love life for what I have to offer, not for what others offer me.

I am slowly but surely learning everyday that self love is the best love.