A few days ago my husband’s best friend came to visit us and go shooting with my husband and our oldest son, Hayden. Hayden is 7 years old, knows to avoid going down range and likes to bring his NERF rifle along to hit some targets. In our house, we talk politics. All. The. Time. So much, that Hayden wants to vote for Bernie Sanders, is supportive of gay marriage, vehemently supports the second amendment and thinks that Donald Trump is the worst person in the world.

Hayden asked my husband’s best friend who he was voting for, almost immediately as he came into our house. “Well, I’ll write in Ron Paul, like I do every election.” This was not the answer that Hayden was looking for.

“People who vote for Donald Trump aren’t allowed in my room.”

That’s when I realized that my husband and I have messed up terribly, somewhere along the way.

Let’s take a step back. It was a mildly chilly, day on Tuesday, November 7, 2000, I was in 2^nd grade. Immediately after lunch we were dismissed to run freely outdoors and take our state-sanctioned breath of fresh air; recess. We broke off into two separate groups. Almost the entire elementary school ran to the jungle gym and began shouting “BUSH, BUSH, BUSH!” over and over. Meanwhile, me and about three other Gore supporters decided to play tetherball and look at the show our classmates were putting on.

But what exactly was it these Bush supporting elementary schoolers were supporting? What exactly did I know about Gore? And what the heck does my son know about Sanders and Trump?

The answer is nothing.

Children are naturally curious, and always listen in to adult conversations that they are not ready for. I know I sure did as a child. They decide to pull out certain words, phrases and thoughts that they hear often, and spit them back out when asked to (maybe this is from public-school conditioning, but we’ll talk about that another time). Regardless, this particular election is teaching our children to hate, no matter what side of the aisle parents sit on.

Whether we are discussing something bad done by the left, something good done by the right, or vice versa, assume that children are listening in, make sure that they are getting the whole story.

We cannot throw around comments like “Bernie Sanders/Donald Trump is Hitler.” Children hear that. They hear it when we say “Sanders wants to take all my money away and give it to lazy millennials,” and they hear “Donald Trump hates women and minorities.” No matter what it is that we are saying in front of these children, we are preparing them to enter a world where issues are polarized (something that most Americans want to do away with), and people can say and do whatever they want and still have followers.

While I believe that children need to be prepared for a world where their feelings will get hurt, where some people are bad, and where your political standing decides who you associate with, it is vital that we are not brainwashing our children into believing that we can get away with anything.

As parents, we need to stop telling our children what to stand for when they listen in to our private and adult conversations. We need to not allow them to hear us use hate speech, against either candidate.

If we tell our children that Bernie Sanders is a communist that has never worked a day in his life and wants to steal your money, and he becomes president, that is not a very good value to teach our children. If they overhear us say that Hillary Clinton is a murderous criminal, and she becomes president, that is teaching our children they can get away with anything and still be successful. If they hear that Donald Trump is a xenophobic bigot with no value of democracy, then they will believe the system was flawed from the start.

This is not to say that children cannot be interested in politics, in fact, it’s vital that they grow up with an understanding of how the world works around them. However, be an example through action, not just words.

My father recently told me to write an article that showed nothing but the facts from the three major candidates (I refuse to acknowledge that Bernie is no longer in the running). He told me to focus on only the GOOD things that each has done. I may take him up on his challenge, and we probably should when it comes to our children too. Without shielding them from the horrors of the world, they need to understand that each candidate does have something good to show for themselves.