This cannot be real. No way this is actually happening. Something so atrocious as this could not be true. But, no, it is. Donald Trump is running for president.

Much to my disbelief, he has continued to climb in the polls. America's frustration with Washington must be out of control to enable someone as outlandish as this egotistical business mogul get this far. So I have compiled an, "If... then.." regarding a successful Trump presidential campaign. If Donald Trump became president...

Then his ego would grow.

If Donald's ego grew then he would suggest outlandish things such as making Rosie O'Donnell number one on America's most wanted. “Rosie O’Donnell’s disgusting both inside and out. You take a look at her, she’s a slob. She talks like a truck driver, she doesn’t have her facts, she’ll say anything that comes to her mind. Her show failed when it was a talk show, the ratings went very, very, very low and very bad, and she got essentially thrown off television. I mean she’s basically a disaster.”

This adds fuel to his ongoing feud with the talk show host in 2006.

If Rosie O'Donnell became number one on America's most wanted, then the true criminals would run wild in our country.

If criminals ran wild in our country then no one would feel safe.

If no one felt safe, then no one would ever leave their comfort zone or feel twitchy.

If no one left their comfort zone or felt twitchy then they would get sweaty armpits.

Don't get sweaty armpits. Don't vote for Trump.