The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. A big misconception amongst many people is that domestic violence is only the extreme in adult relationships. However, 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, and women from ages 18-34 are at the highest risk. To me, those odds are just too high.

This is a topic, an issue, that is very close to my heart. About a year ago now, I was in a long-term abusive relationship. Emotional, mental, physical abuse (because these are all types of domestic violence), I experienced. It was the most draining experience I had ever encountered, and to be honest, some days I couldn't see how I would ever be okay again.

But a year has passed, and I was able to dispose of that toxic relationship in my life, a relationship that literally stripped me of who I was. But, in time, I have realized that not all women in these kinds of situations can do that.

I get a lot of questions about my experience, and many are mostly along the lines of "Why didn't you tell anyone" and "Why did you stay"... and it is only with time, that I have the answers to these questions. Because at first, when people would ask me, I wouldn't know how to explain it, I would become frustrated... because I would look back and be embarrassed about what at the time, seemed like my lack of judgment.

Back then I didn't speak out purely out of fear: fear of what was going to happen to me, fear of being further isolated, fear of judgment. I stayed for so long in such a toxic environment because that toxic environment became all I knew. I was manipulated and isolated from people who really cared about me, people who loved me and who would've served as a support system to me.

I think it's important to realize that it is never the victims fault. Nobody asks for an intimate partners abuse. And it's important to realize what abuse is. Your partner could never lay a hand on you, but instead scream at you and demoralize you every day. There is no argument that either way, the toll that has on a human being is detrimental.

I speak out now about my experience because I believe in empowering others and I want to help get rid of this stigma of shame that many victims of domestic violence experience.

I have had other young women come to me with similar experiences, coming to me for advocacy, and advice. That gives me my spark, gives me my spark to share my story so that maybe, even if it's just one woman, is empowering and relatable enough that a victim can find the strength to move on with their life.

Due to my own personal experience, my spark, my passion for change, has been lit. But I believe as a society, we need to have more of a spark. We need to put a stop to domestic violence, and we need to talk about it. We need to talk about the cycle of abuse, we need to talk about what a victim goes through. We need to teach men to stand up to other men who openly disrespect women... and as a whole we need to teach each other how to treat one another.

Too many victims of domestic violence lose their lives every day, every month, every year. For me, when I hear about a victim's loss to this battle, it hits close to home because of the feeling of "That could've been me" ... But in actuality, everyone as a whole, even if you can't personally relate, should be thinking that could've been my sister, my daughter, my friend, my co-worker... because 1 out of 4 of those women... it is.

If you or anyone you know may be battling an abusive relationship, I urge you to be as understanding and helpful as possible...you may help more than you could ever imagine.