I have come to see that doing too much and not doing enough is a common occurrence. Many people, myself included, face this on a daily basis.
Now you're probably wondering what exactly I mean by this, so allow me to explain. In my life, there are many great people, and a few not so great people. My problem is who I differentiate doing too much for, and who I do not do enough for.
Although the ones I do too much for may have been in my life longer than others, that does NOT make them worth the extra time and effort I put forth for them. They may have the tendency to use me to get things they want, which I am guilty of falling for. I like to think that I have a big heart and I want the people I care about to know I care, but I tend to get taken advantage of. I always seem to find time to do something for these nuisances. Whether I just got off work and worked a long hard day, or it's a Saturday night past 11 p.m. when I'd much rather be sleeping, watching a good movie or even in the middle of running some errands.
Maybe it's because deep down, I would hope they would do the same for me if roles were reversed. Or maybe it's just because I struggle to tell someone the word "no." No matter what the case may be, I simply do too much for some people. The wrong people. This becomes so consuming at times that the great people in my life sadly enough get the short end of the stick. I tend to neglect the ones who I should treat like gold.
For those of you that are neglected and left standing there with the short stick, I am sorry. I picture you all as pulling harder and harder, re-adjusting your grip and holding on to my actions with patience. The ones I forget to make plans with or ignore the texts or calls from, I swear it's not on purpose and I am sorry. You are the truly great people in my life. The absolute greatest, the "bees knees," "the bomb.com" and the spaghetti to my meatball (Since I'm Italian and all, I had to throw that in there).
I appreciate you all more than my words ever do describe, you all know who you are. The ones who wake me up because I forgot to set an alarm for school, who hold that nasty trash can in front of me when I'm sick, who sit there in a food coma with me after a Shady Maple trip, go on adventures with, long drives, movie nights, dinner dates or sing songs from the punk stage of the '90s and early 2000s with me and my horrible voice. But most of all, the ones who love me and support my decisions and put me on the right path I need to be on, thank you.
My goal is to make you amazing friends, peers and family, the people I do too much for; and those not so nice people, maybe I'll just have to put you on the back burner for awhile. Your time in the spotlight of my focus is over with for now and I need to reevaluate who I spend my time and energy on. It's the best thing for both of us.
