To my closest and dearest friends,

I have a confession to make. Sometime during my high school years, I noticed I had come down with something: an illness, a condition, an addiction of sorts. As I get older, this condition of mine gets worse and I realize that it's ultimately degenerative.

I have something a lot of people call "helping syndrome." It's a condition where someone helps others so much that the devotion we put into others is not the same devotion we put into ourselves. I always denied myself the fact that I was a people pleaser and just keep telling myself, "everyone helps out other people. It's just the nice thing to do." But it took me a while to see that other people don't help people as much as I do. That is not meant to sound prideful or like bragging, but it is true. Most people don't drop their plans just to drive someone to the grocery store or stop in the middle of doing homework to drive someone to the post office on campus.

The point of this letter is not under any circumstance to get people to stop asking me to help them. I love knowing that people trust me enough to confide in me with their problems and know that they can rely on me when they need someone to be there for them. It makes me so loved that my friends trust me and think of me as a person that they come to in a time of need. I really appreciate that people think of me that way.

This letter is a confession of love; it's a confession of love for myself. Please understand that there are times when I need time to be by myself and I need to do things for myself. I used to feel bad for asking other people for advice or for help but then, I realized I shouldn't have to feel bad for asking people to give me some of their time to help me when I help others as often as I do. This letter is a confession that I love myself enough to not deny myself help and that I need to stop telling myself, "this other person's problems are more important than yours."

This is a confession that I need help. I need help taking care of myself as good as I take care of people. I don't take care of myself often so I need some help from others to not only make sure I'm treating myself the way I deserve but, to help me take care of me. Please know that I am willing to help anyone, but I also do have to help myself.

I am happy in my position as the friend who helps everyone. I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I don't think very many people who truly fill in the "mom" position among their friends and I'm happy to be that person. Just know that it can sometimes be a hard job to fill and it takes a lot of energy to take care of everyone all of the time.

Love dearly,

The Friend Who Takes Care of Everyone.