Doing It Wrong: What's Up With Some Relationships?

As I was brainstorming this week about what I should write about, I noticed I've been getting random little hints without even realizing. Between binge watching "Gilmore Girls" and working, I've found one recurring thing: relationships. They're everywhere and the majority of the time, that's what we talk about the most. I'm almost always listening to my friends tell me about their misadventures in dating and sometimes (okay most of the time), I share a few stories as well. What really stuck with me was that I used to have a pretty good idea of what I wanted from a relationship. I even spent quite a bit of my free time writing spoken word poetry about it, but somewhere along the way I lost sight of that image I had in my head and reverted to my old ways of just taking everything head on. To kind of give you an idea of that image here is one of my old spoken word pieces:

"Have I met your loving gaze or have I yet to experience your sweet smile? Or could it be that we’ve already gone through the trials of young love and failed to make it last? I’m deeply sorry if I’ve already broken your heart but I’ll forgive you if you’ve broken mine.

I pray that when we do meet or if we have met that our love will be built up from the sturdy foundation of friendship, rather than being hastily built with impatient lust. I hope that our love will be so great that our children will never fail to know what a real and pure love looks and feels like.

Keep in mind that I’m not asking for constant rainbows and butterflies, I’m asking for someone who isn’t afraid to fall in love with me. I know we all sometimes fear the things we want most but true love is far too beautiful and hard to find to be dismissed so easily. Know that no matter what this life may throw at us, I will stay by your side and work it all out every time until my body won’t physically or emotionally take it."

Now imagine, if I've lost sight of my vision of a good relationship, then who is to say that maybe the rest of us haven't lost sight too? I was curious to see if others had the same thoughts I do so I asked two of my friends about their opinions on relationships now a days. Here is what they had to say:

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Reading what my friends had to say made my realization all the more real and that regardless of your gender or your sexual preference it could happen to anyone. While I write, I listen to music to boost my concentration and based on the lyrics in some songs, my friends and I are not alone in thinking that we're not looking at relationships how we should. I know it’s going to sound funny but even Drake said it in "Take Care," "We live in a generation of not being in love and not being together, But we sure make it feel like we're together, Cause we're scared to see each other with somebody else".

He's not even the only one to write songs about how messed up our mentality towards relationships is. Personally, it’s scary to think how some of us will end up if we don't open up our minds to that image of a good and healthy relationship. I think it’s important to acknowledge that toying with your significant other shouldn't be a typical thing and respecting, supporting, and empowering them should be. Just think, if we treated our partners the way we treat our friends and family, would we be treating them an better? If the answer is no, then I guess I'll leave it up to you if you change or stay the same.