Warning: Cat people, prepare to have your minds blown.
From my point of view, dogs are exceptionally better than human beings. There are plenty of reasons why I think this, but if I told you all of them, we'd be here for a substantial amount of time, and I know you probably have very important tasks to get done today, such as wiping your dog's butt or giving him a belly rub for an hour. Dogs are a lot more work than humans, yes, but honestly, they're so worth all the time and energy you have to put into them. Here are my top reasons why dogs are better than humans.
1.They can't talk.
Honestly, this is probably one of my favorite things about dogs and my least favorite things about people. Like, seriously, Becky, no one cares about your new boyfriend. I don't care about what you guys did last night or how hot he is. You don't hear me talking about my dog all day, do you? Well, actually, you probably do. Regardless, dogs will never talk your ear off about pointless matters, which is why I choose to spend all my free time with dogs instead of people.
2. They understand your feelings.
Even though dogs can't talk, they still understand your feelings and emotions much better than humans can. Have you ever tried to talk to someone about how sad you are about Grey's Anatomy, and they had no sympathy or completely changed the topic on you? Like, come on. I don't give humans a chance often, but whenever I do, I end up extremely disappointed. However, dogs lick your tears away when you are sad. Have you ever heard the saying that dogs can smell fear? Well, they probably can smell happiness, sadness, anxiousness, and hatred, too. For real, I love when my dog hates the same people I hate. That can't possibly be a coincidence. Hey, here's a picture of the cutest dog ever.
3. They never get mad.
I honestly do not understand humans. Sometimes, people get mad at me for the dumbest reasons. When I don't want to hang out with someone, and I tell them that, they'll get mad at me. I really do get confused every time this happens, because ever since I was younger, I've been taught that we should always tell the truth. And that's just what I was doing, right? Anyways, dogs will never get mad at you unless you blow in their face. That might upset them. Most of the time, dogs are incredibly happy creatures that simply enjoy life. Look at how much this dog loves life.
Have you ever seen a human that happy?
Don't answer that. That's a rhetorical question.
4. They brighten your mood.
Their happiness is infectious. It's the best thing ever to come home from a horrible day of humans to your wonderful dog that's just so excited to see you. Every day is a new opportunity for your dog to smother you with love and affection. Seriously, no one can make me smile cheek to cheek like dogs can. The only type of PDA I condone is with dogs. Two humans kissing is just gross, right?
5. They're great exercise buddies.
It kind of sucks but you absolutely have to exercise your dog, which means you have to exercise, too. Only the unhappy people in the world actually enjoy exercising, but when your dog is running in front of you with the biggest smile on his cute little face, it's not so bad. Dogs love to exercise. Like seriously, you can't even say the word "walk" without them acting like I would if Channing Tatum asked me on a date. Plus, you can maybe gain some muscle and see some fresh air for once, before curling up in front of the TV for twelve hours munching on a surplus of cheese sticks. That brings me to my next point, but first, take a look at these majestic dogs running.
Wow. That's just a beautiful sight. I wish they could all run through this screen and attack me with love.
6. They're also perfect Netflix buddies.
Your dog just craves your attention, so he's happy to lay next to you all day while you alternate between binge watching Netflix and taking a nap, after all of that hard work. They'll also spoon you while you're at it, which is much better than being spooned by a human. Also, whenever your show makes you cry, he'll lick your tears, and when your show makes you laugh, he'll wag his tail so viciously that he'll knock out your annoying little brother that's bugging you about changing the channel to the hockey game. Best case scenario, he'll smack a cat in his face with his tail.
7. They'll never judge you.
Your dog doesn't care if you haven't put on your make up or brushed your hair, and they certainly don't care if you smell like three day's old chicken. In fact, they'd probably love that. They don't judge if you watch all seven Harry Potter movies in a row or if you eat mac and cheese for all three meals. You can burp, fart, pick your nose, and virtually anything else, and your dog won't judge. Dogs seriously are a gift from heaven.
8. They don't smell.
If they do, that's your problem. It's not like they can wash themselves. Get your lazy butt up and give them a bath, they'll probably love it. Humans, on the other hand, are completely in control of their own hygiene, and it's considered "rude" if you give them some helpful advice or tips about it (Seriously, Phil, I'm still sorry about that). Giving them a bath is so fun because it's the perfect excuse for you to rub their beautiful fur for an extensive amount of time. Plus, it's so cute when they roll around in the grass afterwards.
9. They are hilarious.
Dogs can make me laugh 10 times harder than humans can. I love when puppies have legs that are too short for their bodies which makes them fall all over the place. I love how dogs insist on chasing their tails all day every day, and when they spend their time digging for nothing. Most of the time, dogs do specific things that are hilarious and it's hard to explain. I guess only dog people understand this one. It's kind of like a "had to be there moment," you know? Except, not specifically a moment. I guess it's a "had to have had a dog at some point" type thing. Here's a good example, though:
10. Dogs are selfless.
Dogs love humans more than we deserve to be loved. They're the perfect companions and they'll love you as long as they live. They'll devote their entire existence to caring about you (and food), and they'll spend all their time with you because you are the love of their life. So while you humans keep on fighting and bickering over pointless things, I'm just going to keep cuddling my dog.
Thanks for reading my list of reasons why dogs are amazing, and thanks for agreeing with every single point I've made throughout this article. If you didn't agree, then keep on being a cat person. You guys deserve each other. That just means more dogs for the rest of us.
