When I was only a few months old I was diagnosed with a condition called Nystagmus. What that means, basically, is that my optical nerve doesn't communicate with my brain correctly–there's a disconnect between point A and point B. This causes my eyes to "roam around" or move as they try to focus on whatever I'm looking at. Looking at it from a different perspective, my vision is around 20/200, which means I read an eye chart as well as someone can read it from 200 feet away. That means whenever I go to the eye doctor, I typically am only able to read the top large E.
I'm not going to lie, having Nystagmus has affected my life in countless different ways, some for the better and others not so much. At 18-months-old I had eye surgery, and from then on until I was freshman in high school, I wore glasses. Let's put that into perspective: this was the time before it was "cool" or "trendy" to wear glasses. Also, when I turned 16, I was told that I could try to drive but there would be so many restrictions on my driving that it may not even be worth getting my license. So I decided not to go through with it, not that it's been that terrible not being able to drive since I go to a university where walking is the main form of transportation. Those are the major downsides to my condition.
As I said, although there are lows to having Nystagmus, there have been some good that has come out of it. When I was younger the doctors said that I may not be able to play soccer because of my vision. My parents didn't give up and encouraged me to try playing anyways. From age five until my freshman year of high school, I played competitive soccer. Even then, I only stopped playing because my team disbanded and I decided to focus more on academics. The only time my vision kept me from playing was when we were using a dark colored ball, but then we'd simply ask the referee if it was possible to change to a lighter colored ball (they were always really accommodating).
My vision didn't hinder me from playing the sport I loved. I may not have been the best player on my team by any measure, but I was a fairly decent soccer player. And to think had my parents listened to the doctors, I may not ever have become as big of a sports fan as I am today, nor would I have met a lot of the people I did through playing.
The other area in which my vision has been more of an upside as opposed a hindrance is in academics. So what if I have to sit close to the front of the classroom and use a monocular to help me read the board? It never affected my intellectual capabilities. From a young age, my parents saw my intellectual potential and weren't about to let my vision be an obstacle in me reaching that potential. I've always excelled in school, and if I'm completely honest, I don't think I'd be able to say that if my parents been so supportive and did everything they could to assure that my teachers understood the accommodations I should have. But even then I never really used any of the accommodations given to me besides my monocular. I hate taking exams by myself because it stresses me out, and I never liked having large print testing materials just because it took up way too much space.
The bigger moral of the story is that I didn't allow my "differences" get in the way of the potential I had, whether it was in the classroom or on the soccer field. If I had, I wouldn't be where I am today and wouldn't have such high aspirations for myself.
The thing is that majority of people would label my vision impairment as a disability, but I don't like that. The word disability means a condition that limit's a person's movements, senses and activities. The only one of those things that applies to me is the senses, but even then I don't see it as that big of an issue. If I'm being completely honest, I see my vision as being a part of who I am and something that is unique about me. I think too often we let the obstacles and adversities of everyday life get in our way. We have to look past the negatives of the obstacles we face and see how we can overcome them and become a better person.
So, no, my disability doesn't define me because I don't allow it to. Yes, I am aware of the fact that I have Nystagmus, but if I sit her and let it negatively impact my life, I will never be able to get the most out of what life has to offer me.
Let's stop defining people by the things that make them different and start looking at how those things allow them to be an even better individual. I'm always willing to talk about my vision because it's a part of who I am, but it will never change my personality or how I interact with others. It took me awhile to realize that differences are God's own special blessings to us and see how He shows His strength through us. But now that I know that I want others to realize that, too. We are all unique in our own special way and that's exactly how it should be.
Stop letting your disabilities define you and start letting yourself realize how special you are!
