Sometimes we stand on a mountain’s peak and gaze over the horizon that could only be described as ‘beautiful.’ We smile as the sun presses firmly on our cheeks and the cool air kisses the back of our necks. But then, it all changes and the mountain starts to crumble all around us. The sun blinks from existence and cool air is replaced by the icy water now coming above our heads. We start to panic as the water starts to take home in our lungs, and we notice the mountain’s peak is now a dark trench leading towards emptiness. One second is all it took to go from the top of the world to the bottom. This is sadly a true reality for a lot of people. Though it might not come in the form in which I’ve just described. It may come in the following: death, heartache, abuse, trauma, and many others. When events like this happen, we as people become hurt and frustrated, broken and torn and even fractions of our former selves. Among all this, we have come to love a phrase that works as our banner for ‘getting through the tough times.’ Time heals all wounds.
The phrase is one that I have caught myself using from time to time. Whether it be in an attempt to help friends and family through their personal troubles or even on myself during my own downward spirals. I got to thinking a few days ago on the question: does time truly heal all wounds? It was a question I never really gave much thought. Yet once I got to thinking about it, the more and more I questioned the reliability of that phrase. Assuming that someone else had taken the same path of mind that I was currently on, I took to my resources to see what I could dig up about my new found curiosity. Two obvious directions came to mind, the first being to asking my fellow peers about what they thought of the phrase.
After walking around for about an hour I got a number of different statements from people. These ranged from, “No, some wounds need more than time,” to, “Yes, time does heal all wounds, but, like wounds, some take longer to heal than others, and sometimes you’re left with a scar.” Others stated comments such as, “Biologically speaking, yes.” Looking over all the results, it was clear that most people felt that time did heal all wounds. Yet those that did not believe so had more reason for their answer. Interesting.
After hearing what my fellow students had to say, the next stop on this theory train would be Research Avenue. I spent a few hours searching for credible sources on the topic. I was surprised to see just how much this topic had actually been brought up. The definition of the phrase: Time heals all wounds: People eventually get over insults, injuries, and hatred. The word “eventually” starts to turn some wheels for me in this definition. Eventually, which would mean that after an unspecified amount of time. Time obviously was going to come into factor here, considering the phrase and all. “Time Might Not Heal All Wounds” by Lauren Suval does an amazing job at explaining the two types of popularized Greek times.
“Chronos time pertains to the calendar. It describes the past, present and future and is measured by clocks. Kairos time refers to the time which personal life moves forward: Kairos time refers to a deepening process that results from our paying attention to the present moment, a process through which we are drawn to the movement of our own story.”
Kairos time requires us to pay attention. Paying attention is better worded simply as not ignoring. When we ignore traumatic events over a long period of time, in a weird way, it is almost like the event is not happening. “It is about paying attention, becoming more mindful and open to experience,” remarks licensed clinical social worker, David Fireman, in his article “Does time heal all wounds?” Further backing up the idea that trauma is not dealt with through ignorance, but through acceptance and allowing an experience to happen. From personal experience, I would say the most common example of said events would have to be break ups. We all know how it goes. We pretend that everything is okay and distract ourselves with new things, people or hobbies. Thus ignoring the reality of the event that is going on in front of our faces.
Though several of my peers answered “yes” to the question "Does time heal all wounds?" it seems that there is much more to this question than just waiting for life to get better. Though the concept of time is not always looked at in the way of Kairos, but primarily Chronos. It would be easy to see why most people would feel like time does heal all wounds. Yet, when looked at in the idea of experience and learning that ‘time’ is not the true healer in this process, could we see how allowing your body and mind to open to acceptance and understanding of a situation could make the situation, though horrible, easier to get a hold of? We are all open to how we view and accept the world, and at the end of the day whether we believe that a passing of time is what makes things better or that allowing yourself to experience and feel is the truth behind it. Everything gets better. Keep your heads held high for we will all find our serenity.
