“So should I make a story up?” I asked my friend as we chatted about how my grad school applications were going. By this time I had sifted through every profound life experience I could remember from the past twenty one years to use as a base for a compelling personal statement. At some point I realized there wasn’t anything I had endured that captured the thesis I was going for. Something that made me seem like a super hero AND brought intense feelings of joy and suffering to the mind of the reader.

I was faced with this decision to be myself or give people what I knew they wanted. And that is how every application process feels. Whether I was in an academic context, fighting for a competitive customer service job or competing in pageants, it felt like applications, personal statements and interviews were always more about putting on a show than being genuine.

Obviously, I understand the application process is the only realistic system we have found for getting to know people. Although, it would be nice to have someone follow me around for a week to understand completely who I am, it is both creepy and likely cost ineffective.

Five to ten minutes is about all the time someone has to get a sense of you. One could also make the argument that everyone should just be honest and level the playing field a bit. To that I say, good luck getting everyone to agree on that one. In an applicant pool filled with truth stretching and bullshit, being too honest can stand as a huge disadvantage to yourself.

I have really sat on a possible solution to this problem, but honestly I don’t know that it is simple. My first thought is to take the ability of people to self evaluate in an interview without proof. Don’t ask people if they deal with stress well, look at their resume and notice they haven’t worked a job all through college and I think you can deduce the answer to that. Make people give examples, make them prove they have good work ethic through references rather than asking them to self report.

As far as the personal statement goes, fact check that in an interview for a competitive program or school, ask them about the small girl that died in their arms and the look in their eyes will tell you right away whether that actually happened or they stole it from an episode of General Hospital. Ultimately, I think we need a little more getting to know people and that requires that admission staff and managers to ask the right questions and participate in creating a successful application and interview process that sifts through the bullshit and gets to the heart of who people really are.