Do you remember that person who hurt you or someone you love? The person who betrayed you or left you or made your heart ache in a way you never knew it could. Whether it be a boyfriend, parent, friend, roommate, whoever... do you remember? I remember laying on my bedroom floor multiple times asking God, "why?" Staring up at the ceiling feeling the deep, wrenching pain of a relationship falling apart while a wound was appearing on my heart. I can remember the feeling of an empty place in my heart and it filling with an immense amount of anger, jealously, hurt, sadness, loneliness, everything you can think of. Mostly, I felt unforgiveness swell up in every part of my being. The question posed in that moment was, "Does grace have a line?" Is there some certain limit where God's grace won't reach or a limit our grace towards other just stops? How bad of a hurt has to happen before we hit it?
There have been trials in my life where in everyone's point of view, unforgiveness seemed like a perfectly fine way to deal with what had happened. Nobody would have 'judged' me for holding a grudge, at least for awhile. In our culture, if someone does you wrong, you write them off immediately. For some reason, human beings have become dismissible. People have these figurative "Burn Books" and you don't want to be put on that list. As I have been going through a process of storm after storm, there have been times when I just was not sure I could show grace for what was done against me, my friends, or my family. Grace seemed like a privilege that needed to be earned, not given away freely. To earn our grace and forgiveness in our culture, we generally need to hear who hurt us say those two magic words, "I'm sorry." The thing about life is that you don't always get an apology. Whoever hurt you really may never acknowledge fully the damage they did whether they just don't see it or don't want to own up to it. The lack of acknowledgement does not excuse a lack of grace. A few months ago, I decided to read about Jesus' time on Earth leading up to his death on the cross. As a Christian, I have always heard that Jesus died for my sins. I have heard of grace given to me when I accepted his salvation. I have a bracelet that says grace. I even post scriptures about Jesus' grace on instagram in between some super cute flowers with the word written in calligraphy. It is my screensaver on my phone. But honestly, what is grace and what should it mean in my life? Jesus covered me in grace when he forgave me of my transgressions. He said this wasn't okay for you to do, but I still love you. I think a lot of times we think forgiveness or grace is saying the wrong was fine or didn't hurt. In no way does Jesus' grace mean my sin was fine for me to commit, but it is saying I am not going to hold this against you or take away my love. I am so thankful for that truth. So if I believe that God's plans for me is to walk like him, shouldn't I give grace and love? Is there a sin that Jesus doesn't forgive? Is their a situation where he doesn't extend grace when we look to him? I sure hope not and I know not. The Word doesn't give a topic list of what to forgive or not what not forgive, it simply pushes us to show grace. It even says to pray for our enemies. You can't hate someone and still want to pray for them. It teaches us to see them through eyes that are not our own. It is through Jesus' eyes which ultimately see grace.
When it comes to those who hurt us, we have to get off our high horse of pride. I know when I am hurt with someone, I usually don't even want to look at them because it could knock me off my ain't-nobody-gonna-hurt-me soapbox. But when I look at myself, a broken, flawed woman who needs God's grace every second of every day, I am so much more likely to extend that grace I have to others, even my 'enemies.' To forgive not because they said they are sorry, but because of what Jesus did for me. To overlook the human nature of the burn book, and give them to Jesus instead. Does grace have a line? Does love fail? The Word says God is love and love never fails. Walk in that today. Forgive like Jesus forgave you before you were even created. Give grace like Jesus does to you when he saved you from that broken sin and darkness. Be the city on a hill. Embody grace no matter the circumstance. Grace always wins.
