As a college student, I have come to see the world under the looking-glass of success, picking out and magnifying only a few. Those few were the lucky, the hardworking, the deserving, the talented, and most importantly the worthy, seen and admired under this looking-glass by those who lie outside of its magnification. This is all true. Even those who are not self-made and therefore scrutinized still find themselves beneath this glass under the context of luck and are by all means worthy of their success because success demands sustainment, and those who are unworthy of it will find it impossible to sustain.
In college, it becomes more real and evident that what I do right now in the present has a direct influence on my ability to become successful in the future. It becomes an obsession, a haunting knowledge that failure to find success in this life amounts to no life at all. We judge our peers and anticipate judgment based on that which we have achieved, chasing more often the approval and admiration of our social circle than our own dreams.
In true thought, this is a sad reality. It begs the question that perhaps we nor our environment invent our destiny, but more specifically that the glares of judgmental eyes do. How could anyone be happy chasing success then? I believe the problem with this is a confusion that success amounts to self-worth. That without assuring accolades and praises from others, we amount to nothing.
I have met few people who I did not perceive to be anxious about the future, all for fear of being unsuccessful. This undertone of anxiety and fear never discriminated between the gifted, the plain, the determined, the lazy, the intelligent, or the simple. In all of these people, you can find this common denominator. In fact, fear is so common that it is a regularly seen unifier of very diverse groups in many situations.
We find it comforting that others understand our profound fears as well and we can bond through it. As well as unification, fear can also divide. Competition is based off of the fear of failure to succeed. We all too often see each other as taking an opportunity of some sort that could be used for our own success, and therefore hate and work against each other, all because we are afraid to fail.
In my own reflection, I have seen this fear drive me. Some would say that this is positive; you don’t want to fail and fear is a necessary reaction to adjust to a situation. However, I cannot help but feel that you cannot become your best self by being afraid. I cannot believe that dreams should be chased out of fear. If fear is motivating you to do something, then you will find that the success you chased has been cheapened and spoiled because once you get there, and the fear is gone, something other than yourself decided your fate. That it was not a product of your own will, but that of fear.
I do not want to be misunderstood as saying that success never leads to fulfillment, but I mean to say that do not let success, as the world sees it, be the reason you move. Be honest with everything you do, in spite of those that judge us. If you have something to say, say it honestly! If you want to be something, be something true to yourself! That is where you will find your worth.
It is pretty easy for me to just say, “don’t be afraid,” because everyone’s struggle is different, and maybe to some people sacrificing their honesty toward themselves is deemed necessary under their very unique circumstance. However, I think it can be determined that one of the greatest reasons people do not forge toward an individual path as unique as themselves, is because their self-worth is so diminished that they cannot envision themselves accomplishing what they would like to set out to do.
To be clear, you have worth!
Whether you succeed or fail along the beaten path, you have value even if you did not accomplish a goal most likely established under the pretense of outside influence. What matters is that you can say your decisions were your own. That you could forget what your parents wanted, or your girlfriend wanted, or what your vain cowardly self, wanted, and say you did what fulfilled you. No amount of money or compliments or false love can make up for a lack of fulfillment to yourself. To disappoint others should be no issue to you, but to be disappointed in yourself is truly a sad thing.
When you pursue that which fulfills you, you will find that you have value. You will see yourself honestly for the first time and when you can look at yourself honestly, you will see that you do have worth, whether it is realized worth or not. Not all watches are a Rolex, but all watches can tell time if you just roll back that sleeve.
This confusion, between self-worth and success, is what tarnishes success and makes those under the looking glass feel perhaps as incomplete with their looks of approval and laundry list of achievements as when they were alone and unaccomplished. I don’t think it is happiness, sadness, money, power, women, or anything influenced by that which is not a part of your very soul that can make you feel self-worth.
It’s hardly a feeling but a realization, and it’s not something the world can give to you. Self-worth is about honesty with yourself, and to be honest with yourself you must have a relationship with yourself. You must accept the things you are at your core, stripping away from yourself everything that you can until you are bare and naked so that you can see yourself for what you are. You will see that you are something entirely different from what perceptions tell you that you are and come to grow comfortable with yourself and love yourself.
While you must be worthy of success to find yourself under the looking-glass, success is not your worth, and is not isolated to fame or the blessings of riches.
