It's been a while since I got a good nights sleep. One where I fall asleep one time, sleeping through the night and waking up feeling at least somewhat refreshed and ready to face the day. But instead, I get small bursts of sleep, lasting a maximum of two hours in length, and then I'm awoken from my sleep for whatever reason. Once I'm awake, I toss and turn for countless minutes, trying to get in a position comfortable enough to get another little burst of sleep before my next wake up call inevitable comes.
The pain doesn't help the lack of sleep problem. When I wake up, it generally doesn't take long for the pain to kick in as well. The stabbing pain in my rib cage that becomes sharper if I breathe too deep. The piercing cramps that pop up all throughout the month, making it impossible to get into a comfortable position that isn't putting pressure on the pain, which of course is never comfortable no matter how hard you try. The throbbing migraines that take over my entire head, forcing my eyes shut in attempt to block out the light and find even a bit of relief.
And all I want is sleep. A deep, deep sleep that forces me out of my own body for a while, away from the pain that hits me on a daily basis. I so desperately want a vacation from the feeling, and sleep is the closest I can get to that. But the lack of sleep I'm getting, constantly interrupted and never as complete or soothing as I need it to be, makes the days stead hard to push through. The less sleep I get, the more I crave the deep sleep I desperately need. But I don't see that sleep coming. For now it'll stay in a daydream, I guess.
