I do. Every single day, a reoccurring thought in my head is that this day could be my last. And if it is, what would I have to show for my life? A whole bunch of projects never finished and passions never fully realized. In a world where it feel like so much of your success depends on your life before college, it can be really hard to remember that I'm only twenty. That the average person lives until their late eighties or early nineties, that I'm not even a quarter of the way through my potential life span. There's still so much ahead of me, but I keep thinking of where I could be if I'd done one thing differently.

I took ballet for ten years. I started when I was four, and then quit when I was fourteen because I couldn't handle the pressure of the pre-professional school I was attending. That's a decision that I regret every single day, because if I'd kept with it, I could have been a professional ballerina with a company by now.

In high school, I slacked off and went through a crazy rebellious phase, which was only worsened by the fact that I suffered from severe depression. As such, my GPA suffered, and I missed out on being able to form strong friendships and have fun adventures with the friends I did have because I was grounded basically all the time.

If anything could be be counted as my Achilles' heel, it would be that I get so focused on the mistakes I've made in the past that I forget to appreciate what I have. I forget that nostalgia can be a dirty liar that insists that things were better than they'd seemed at the time. I regret quitting ballet, yes. But because I quit ballet, I took up acting and discovered that it's something I'm not only good at, but something I fell in love with instantly. I forget, sometimes, that ballet was causing me more frustration than joy, joy that acting gave me. Had I not quit ballet, I would never have gotten my wonderful firecracker of a horse, Bella, who has taught me such patience and determination that I would not have learned otherwise. Had I not gone through that rebellious phase in high school, my parents wouldn't have sent me to a private school, where all of my beliefs were challenged and I learned to think and research before forming an opinion. I would not be the person that I am today, and I rather like who I am now.

It's undeniably important to be aware of how short life is and to do one's utmost to make the most of each day. But it's also important to realize that making the most of each day can be as simple as filling it with little things that bring you joy. People have to realize that just because they aren't making huge steps towards their goals doesn't mean that their passions aren't being realized, that that project must remain unfinished. So long as one doesn't give up and keeps trying to find new ways when old ones fail, progress is being made. I constantly forget that, and get discouraged if I don't see immediate results. But I'm working on it. And I do believe that I'm getting there; slowly, yes, but surely.