Do you ever feel like you're floating through life?
My father passed on July 5th. The number five is a now a number that means something to me. The last five months I have posted something about him on the 5th day of every month. Today, I caught myself sobbing on the 7th day of the month. I forgot. My internal reminder didn't go off. I forgot something that meant everything to me a month ago. I realized I was too busy living my life and the 5th passed me by...
We all get some caught up in our worlds from time to time. My world has been consumed with work, friends, working out, & my fiancé. Maybe even overly consumed due to not allowing myself to process what was going on in my mind.
What have you been doing the last six months? If my life depended on it, I couldn't tell you. That's 182 days that I simply don't remember. Physically I've done a million and one things, huge life altering things, yet my mind is as blank as a sheet of paper. I've been floating. Floating on nothing.
I've told myself 'one step at a time' and 'just breathe' more times that I could possibly explain. I woke up everyday thinking about how excited I was to go back to bed that night, counting down the hours of social interactions, and searching for anything that would give me an ounce of joy in the meantime. I no longer recognized myself.
Thankfully, there is a way out. There is a wakeup from the fog. There is a landing place.
Acknowledge and accept what you are feeling. I personally didn't even realize I wasn't functioning. Thankfully my best friend had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with me that woke me up. Denying your emotions usually just leads to self-destruction for yourself. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel sad and helpless. Ask yourself the question "How are you going to help fix this problem?"
Reflect on your values. What really matters to you? What are your goals in life? Write them down. From the smallest goals as brushing your hair to the largest goals like changing world hunger. Make sure you're working for your goals; something that matters to YOU. Find your person, tell them what your goals are, and then ask for help when you need it. My accountability partner has been my lifesaver. (Most of all, make sure they're there to help and remind you of your goals when you don't know you need it too.)
Take compassionate care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Change your language from "I don't believe this is happening to me" or "This isn't worth it, I want to give up." Tell yourself "I can handle this" or "Suck it up buttercup, I can do this!" Because you CAN.
