I am a worrier. And I let that ruin my life.

The world tells me that perfection is expected. Average is unacceptable, and anything below that is a disgrace. I was expected to study hard, get into a good school, and become the next doctor, lawyer, life changer. While doing this, I was also supposed to have a perfect smile, beautiful hair, and be bubbly and happy. For a while, I let that get to me. I felt the pressure of the world and I gave in. I studied, and neglected myself. I tried to be perfect, I gave up some things I loved just to be "beautiful." I ate less ice cream and never left my house without makeup. I focused on school and other things and left out time for things that I actually enjoyed, like reading a book that was not listed in my English syllabus. And guess what? I was more unhappy than ever. I was anxiety-ridden and my mood 24/7 could be described in one word: stressed. I had no appetite ever and I was tired all the time. I would stay up until 3,4 in the morning just thinking about the future. I was miserable.

I stayed like this for a while. And if you've been in your own pit for far too long, trust me, I've been there. But I can tell you one thing: it will get better. Eventually.

Change does not happen overnight, you will not become a happy, carefree soul after a good's night rest. But slowly and surely, you will start to see signs of a better life. As my junior year, the undoubtedly most stressful and overwhelming year of my life, came to a close, it started to get better. I started seeing success as how many times I saw my friends a week, rather than how many A's I could make. That fall, my senior year started. My classes were easier and I got into a good college. I spent more time with my friends and less time worrying. I was happier, and I prayed to God that I would stay this way. And He showed me that He would. One day, as I was flipping through my Bible, I came across Matthew 6:34. "Do not worry about the tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."

So, what does that even mean? God has showed me time and time again that most of my problems reside in forgetting to put my trust in Him. I spent my days worrying about my future, trying to control it, and I forgot that it lay in His hands. Despite all my efforts, in the end, it was truly up to Him and whether or not I choose to follow His path. God was telling me to stop stressing about my appearance and my future... God was telling me that I was enough.

Now, I do not go through life carefree and blow wherever the wind takes me, but I do know that wherever I go and wherever I end up, God will be with me. Just me will not be enough against the world. As long as you listen to the world, you will never be enough. You will never be smart enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, funny enough. But we are not of the world. So why are we listening? Why are we trying to be perfect? We are not perfect people and we will never be. No matter how hard we try. But God tells us that we don't need to be perfect, just us is enough. He will accept us, the world will not. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and while that might be enough for a college acceptance board, your boss, or the boy beside you in math class, it is sufficient for God, and He will still love you even when you do not love yourself.

Don't get me wrong, it is OK to work hard towards your goals. But do not let it consume your life. If you are like I was, if your life is filled with stress, you feel inadequate, and the world is putting you down, I'll leave you with this:

"I have told you these things, so in Me you will have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33