I like to have fun. You may see me spending hours in the library, working on homework, but I do like to have fun. You may not see me getting drunk every Wednesday for bar night, or every weekend, for that matter (because in college drinking seems to equal fun), but I do like to have fun. Yet, for the longest time, I thought I needed to have my boyfriend beside me to have fun - having fun without him seemed unfair. It seemed wrong to go to the beach, movies, or a party without him. Therefore, for the longest time, I turned down doing a lot of things with my friends. No matter how much FOMO I had, it didn't change my mind. This really hurt my relationships, and eventually they stopped inviting me to go do things with them.
Well, last night, I started experiencing that guilt again. I was at a party with friends and someone asked "Where is your boyfriend?" I simply replied, "He's at home." My friend thought this was a strange answer, and so I began to question my presence at the party.
What am I doing here? Why go to a party without Ricky? I should just go home. I shouldn't have worn this outfit. I probably shouldn't be dancing with all these guys around...
Then it happened again.
"Where is Ricky?"
That made me feel really guilty.
"Where is your boyfriend?"
Now I was getting mad.
Why do I need Ricky to be here? Why can't he be home and I can be here? What is wrong with that?
The answer is simple: Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me having fun without my boyfriend. While my boyfriend does bring me happiness, he is not the only source of my happiness. Nor, is it a bad that we do things separately, so when I was asked "Where is your boyfriend?" again, yes, again, I spoke my mind: "He's not here, but I am having fun."
Would I have had fun with him present? Most certainly, but it's important for others to know that it is completely okay not to do every thing with your own boyfriend or girlfriend. You are not breaking some unspoken rule. You should not feel guilty for doing things separately or wanting to do things separately. In fact, it is healthy to have a life, and therefore have as much fun outside of your relationship as you do inside your relationship. If you are not something needs to change.
Once more, yes, one more time, I was asked "Where is your boyfriend?" To that I replied, "He's not here and that's okay." Trust me, you may feel guilty at first, but it is perfectly healthy and okay to have fun without your boyfriend.