From the time I was a little girl, my mom constantly told me to be nice ALWAYS, whether it was to someone who was lonely, left out, kind, or mean. It wasn't easy doing this all the time growing up. Sometimes I just didn't want to talk to certain people, or people made me mad and I didn't want to have to be nice back to them, but I did my very best. For the most part, I never regretted trying to live like that. I've always liked making people feel included and important, no matter who it was. I wanted everyone to know that they mattered. I still firmly believe that way, but it has gotten harder to keep up with this philosophy.

I thought that once I graduated middle school, it would only get easier to be kind to everyone. In a way, it did get, but a new line developed. For a while, I was working so hard on being nice to everyone that I was getting walked all over by people, and taken advantage of. Some of my past friends would stop caring about keeping plans and being there for me because they knew I'd forgive them. Romantic interests or friends who wanted to be more would use how I felt about them, and whatever relationship we had, against me. They'd threaten to walk out of my life if I called them out on things they had said or done. All the while, however, I kept forgiving, forgetting, and caving in because I wanted to be nice and keep the peace. Maybe doing this made me more amicable and approachable, but once you start getting older, it comes to a point where you need to defend yourself and others. Not everything can be brushed away and ignored in order to keep a non-dramatic life.

Keeping how you honestly feel to yourself might not necessarily be beneficial for you or the other person. If you live life trying to pretend you feel a certain way and everything is alright, how can you expect things to improve? How could you think someone could understand you fully? No relationship of any kind can grow without both parties saying how they feel, even if it causes conflict.

For so many reasons, I'll never regret growing up being told to be nice. It made me a more respectful, empathetic, and understanding person. I made friends that I never expected would be a fit for me, and I learned so much about people. I needed to realize though, and hadn't until recently, that you can't fill other people when you aren't full enough yourself. Being kind and forgiving to everyone means also being good to you. You deserve to be able to stand up for yourself and say how you feel, and you can still be nice to other people while doing so.

Be kind. Let people feel comfortable with you, but do not under any circumstances let anyone take advantage of the kindhearted mentality you strive for. You deserve the love that you try to give other people, and if it isn't there or has deteriorated after some time, it's time to say something or move on. Treat yourself with the respect you were raised to give everyone else.