The DMV As Told By The Big Bang Theory
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The DMV As Told By The Big Bang Theory

What a trip.

86
The DMV As Told By The Big Bang Theory
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Among government buildings, the DMV is probably the most dreaded to visit. Well, the court house might be worse, but it would depend on the day. My recent trip to the DMV gave me a fresh look at this historically busy, smelly, loud, and frustrating place. Having not been there since I was 16, I had forgotten what it was really like, and for some reason my inner Sheldon Cooper was starting to come out even though he himself does not drive.

There are so many kids.

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Always, and it's never the well behaved or pleasantly smelling ones.

It is both amazing and disturbing how difficult it is for most people to follow basic instructions.

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Why in the world are they allowed to drive??

It really stinks in here.

Why? Just, why?

Did any of you people go to Kindergarten? It's called a line!

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Why do people loiter to the side of the counter? You're not passing anyone.

I really need to pee, but by some miracle I might get called soon.

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It's like Russian Roulette because the last thing you want to do is get skipped over and have to start waiting all over again.

WHY is it so crowded?

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There are so many different languages being spoken in one room.

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I wish I knew more than just English. This would be way more interesting.

These DMV folks must really hate their job.

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The benefits have to be amazing because I don't think I could do this. They're seriously good at pretending to be happy. It's almost like Chick Fil A.

When someone doesn't bring any documentation or fill things out completely, and the attendant is just like

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Oh dear, what a tragedy. Next!

Then, they try to make up an excuse, and the attendant is left to say,

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Rules are rules, folks. No I.D., no beer and no drivers licence.

People watching is actually pretty entertaining.

That is, until someone catches you staring, and you're just like:

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If you get lucky, you'll find yourself sitting next to a half-civilized individual who is friendly.

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It doesn't hurt to talk to strangers and make a friend for an hour, or two, or three.

Or, if you're not so lucky, some strange person will try to strike up a conversation, and you'll just be like:

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When you finally hear your number called, you're like:

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F27%2F636025890550833756-59718945_giphy%2520%2810%29.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=724&h=b34bf2fef22738784bc41bfd18a5f3cc62f583af26ca6fdb6353a4150c7b3099&size=980x&c=353651079 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F27%252F636025890550833756-59718945_giphy%252520%252810%2529.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D724%26h%3Db34bf2fef22738784bc41bfd18a5f3cc62f583af26ca6fdb6353a4150c7b3099%26size%3D980x%26c%3D353651079%22%7D" expand=1]

It sucked when you got there before someone else who got to go up before you, but your turn came. ... eventually.

When it's your turn, and you have to have a photo made, you try so hard not to mess it up.

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"Just smile. Look natural. You'll have to carry this photo around with you."

Once it's all over, you feel like you just experienced some sort of right-of-passage torture test, and you can't be any more excited to leave.

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And, all of this is why Sheldon Cooper does not drive. If he were to go the DMV, it would be a disaster.

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